tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88140800652754307162024-03-05T06:44:35.277-08:00WWW.CHRISDAW.CAA "retired" Paralympic athlete trying to SURVIVE in the world now....Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-8577241334012767622016-12-17T20:04:00.001-08:002016-12-17T20:07:13.672-08:00The Demons of winning GOLD! - A goodbye!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]--><b>The
cost of wearing the flag!</b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Transitioning from Athlete to the Real World – A what
NOT to do!<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11.0pt;"> </span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt;">I guess you can say that being sports has
been a huge part of my life from a young age. </span><span style="font-size: 11pt;">I started in sports when I was 12 and when I
retired it was a rough transition. Still is!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">A
famous quote tells my story very easily – “I’ve been told it’s a good idea to
start a speech or a story with a joke! Well; don’t get your hopes up. I’m not
hear to tell jokes. I am hearing to pick a FIGHT! I am here to pick a fight
with second place.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">We
all hear these great stories about “winning the gold” how great it is; how
fabulous it will be! Guess what it’s not!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">I
often get asked –“What was your greatest game? Or your great memory in sports?”
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">For
most people, ninety-nine percent of people will think it’s the gold medal game
in Torino, but that’s not the answer. It was actually the semi-final, and I’ll
tell you why. That was a really, really tough game against Norway. I made a
really great shot on my first rock of the last end. I made a raise through a lot of cover, a very
difficult shot for wheelchair curlers to make and it hadn’t been done before. There’s
a photo of me raising my arms and people think it’s from the moment we won the
gold, but nope, the photo was taken right after that semi-final shot. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">I raised my arms for a reason.
I knew that the very next day, for the first time in my career, after a 22-year
pursuit of a Paralympic medal, I was going home with one. I didn’t care what
the colour was. I knew that I’d guaranteed myself a medal at the Paralympic Games.
To everybody else, maybe the colour would matter… but not to me. I was going
home with a medal. It was my moment and
I was finally going to get one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">So
Norway tried their next shot of the semi, I then threw my second stone of the
end, and now it was the Norway skip’s last chance. He missed, not by much, and
we won. I just lost it… the tears were flowing. My teammates thought I was
nuts; they thought I shouldn’t be celebrating because we hadn’t won the gold
yet. I told them that it was never about the Gold. Tomorrow we are going home with a medal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">So
the next day, for the final, I was either going to be the skip of the best team
in the world or the second-best team. Someone once told me that it didn’t
matter how many world championships you win; if you can win an Olympic or
Paralympic medal, you are remembered forever. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgInNqt2gJmfPRLFdFdFG3Yylw2ANbZiQJubshGxiecpXYbWoz72vJngskZn7NMBzjURB8b0HtpUXVyeULeM5AmZcU4dZ74ITGSMLf3ULS-KbB578H7EGmNgLpXqFbCI_Q2T6m1uw80FOU/s1600/daw_chris060318cp194.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; display: inline !important; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgInNqt2gJmfPRLFdFdFG3Yylw2ANbZiQJubshGxiecpXYbWoz72vJngskZn7NMBzjURB8b0HtpUXVyeULeM5AmZcU4dZ74ITGSMLf3ULS-KbB578H7EGmNgLpXqFbCI_Q2T6m1uw80FOU/s1600/daw_chris060318cp194.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Not
only was I going to go on to win Paralympic gold medal, but I was going to win
one of the first Paralympic medals ever presented for a sport. It turned out
that I won the very first gold medal ever presented for wheelchair curling in
history. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">I
guess you can say that is where my story starts. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">The 2006
Paralympic wheelchair curling final was against Great Britain, and what a great
game it was. We were ahead in the last end 6-4, and everything kind of fell
apart on us. We couldn’t hit this particular stone, nothing was happening. When
it came down to my shots we were facing three, and when I threw my first one it
was… nowhere where I wanted it to go. Not even close! It was on the side of the
button but wide open, fully exposed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">The Great
Britain skip, Frank Duffy, wheeled down the ice to throw his stone and he
actually said to me, “Thanks for the gold medal.” I said, “Hey, go get it
Frankie.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">So
what do you say to that; how do you keep you composure? I go back to my quote –
“Maybe you like second place, Maybe you like that ‘you gave it your all, better
luck next time’ malarkey they spoon-feed runner ups”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">He threw and you could not
pass a piece of paper sideways between his stone and mine. He’d missed it by
the tiniest margin. Lo and behold, I
managed to win the first Paralympic gold medal ever awarded in the sport of
wheelchair curling. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Here
is another reason why that final is not the number one memory for me. For the
last 10 years, I've had to deal with people's opinions that we won the gold
medal by default. They all said that we won because the other guy missed his
shot for the win. That’s bullshit, of course, and no matter how easy Frank’s
shot should have been, it turned out to not be so easy, right? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Now,
what if I told you that my team has never celebrated or been celebrated for
winning that first-ever gold? To me, we have never been properly recognized for
that accomplishment. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Here’s
what happened. We were awarded our medals, and it was great and emotional and
all that, but then they hauled us off for drug testing. Not one or two of us….
all of us. This was during the time we should have been celebrating. By the
time we were done, it was time to leave the building. So we get on the bus and
then get back to the village, but there was no celebration.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">The
next day, even after the closing ceremony, there was no team celebration. My
players all just split. The team basically broke up after that, and we haven’t
played together since.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK5096CIrqAzvoCPPYSfbgz2A5EPfHdq_GqUaFEdCUpXGxvwHacGqwxum9iXTkyzyTeMfzD_EQyXs8g-GRosxsPuHXORX42-fvao3TiVJJvf1h7_Vlp8OJweRJz8do1GdLYOzmS1F2qVg/s1600/ipcbanner1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK5096CIrqAzvoCPPYSfbgz2A5EPfHdq_GqUaFEdCUpXGxvwHacGqwxum9iXTkyzyTeMfzD_EQyXs8g-GRosxsPuHXORX42-fvao3TiVJJvf1h7_Vlp8OJweRJz8do1GdLYOzmS1F2qVg/s320/ipcbanner1.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">I ended up staying an extra
day with a friend and the athlete village was dead quiet – except for the
tear-down that was starting. I was told I had to be out of the village by
such-and-such time. It didn't matter what was hanging around my neck anymore. I
was a gold medalist the previous day, but today… no one cared. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">My
friend and I drove down to Pisa and we had a monumental moment. We went to a
church and my friend turned to the Cardinal and he said, "We just won a gold
medal.” We were blessed by the Padre and it was a really inspiring moment. We
got into the car and decided to go home the next day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Once
we got home there was a camera and maybe a couple of people at the airport, but
there was no major fan affair. Then the reality stepped in because the camera
was gone after about five minutes and that was it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">“Five minutes.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Then
your family goes away. They were happy for me and took lots of pictures but
once they left that was it. You are left to think about the reality. You need
to think about what you are going to do with your life. You see… what no one
knew was that during the Paralympics I was going through a divorce. I also had
no job to go back home to, and I felt as if I had no future. Curling was all
that I knew. Training was all that I knew. At that point in time, I woke up the
next morning thinking the phones were going to ring. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">“The phone never
rang. Not once.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">I
thought maybe some endorsements would come in but there are no endorsements for
a Paralympic athlete. You would think that someone would care that you just won
the gold medal… but no one did. So I prepared to continue on with the sport,
and re-start training, and then I was graciously retired. Those are the words I
am going to use. I was GRACIOUSLY retired from the national team. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;">After
I was “retired” I didn’t have a sport to go to, I didn't have a job to go to,
and I just met this woman who was the love of my life… but that is another
story. Before I knew it, depression set in, and that is where my story started
to take a turn. There is no strategic planning for all this negativity to be
dealt with.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Period. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">You
don't know what to do because one day you are thinking that you need to go to
the gym, you need to train, and do all these things. What do you do when you
wake up one morning and your gym membership is revoked and your phone is
revoked? You are not a member of Team Canada anymore and by the way,
congratulations on your medal (that you have never been recognized for or
celebrated for). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">So my
transition from an athlete to the real word was an early failure. Every step of
the way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEPn0UMeOY9-rpbfTcMHGLRc_M5CAHTqxjLoQPK6pU3zOqu87DzsHHhxoGUPlZHGdWyB4zAz6L_LC6yIFEay76rVa-SgAaZDGibamf86SRBh1mpIuYVZCkbdx9CeRNFyc0S4fK7h58-Gs/s1600/secret.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEPn0UMeOY9-rpbfTcMHGLRc_M5CAHTqxjLoQPK6pU3zOqu87DzsHHhxoGUPlZHGdWyB4zAz6L_LC6yIFEay76rVa-SgAaZDGibamf86SRBh1mpIuYVZCkbdx9CeRNFyc0S4fK7h58-Gs/s320/secret.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Sport
Canada funding was the backbone of my support structure but when you not paying
into CPP (Canadian Pension Plan) or EI (Employment Insurance ) the morning
after that gets revoked because of
retirement you wake up without that $1,800 a month coming in get a rude wake up call. Top this this off
with the fact that because you did not pay into the support you get left in the
vacuums of uncertainty. Over the years, my coping mechanism with all this has
faltered. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">And
it has cost me everything. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Everyone says to me, “You are
a gold medallist, isn’t that the greatest thing that you have ever done in your
life?” I turn to them and say, “It was the worst thing that I could have done
in my life.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">I
felt as if there was no support for me, no structure. Did I make mistakes along
the way? Sure I did. I was trying to make sure that I had the right coping
mechanisms to get me through all of this non-transitional support but in the
end, it cost me everything. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">I
want to bring attention to this so nobody has to go through what I have gone
through for the past eight years. I hope that nobody needs to ever learn the
hard way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Part
of being an athlete – once you can gain the acceptance of the inevitable –
involves being able to put yourself in a strong mindset… that you have a strong
skill set to be able to deal with the virtually unknown. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZZSuRGPOxoEVlg0naRSWZzsQbgXYwhwPYUrMaJLboVdcprVKKJSRkhbxEUAfgJgxLyl3QimH8rcOtDWKulowL4LmGcxlf_C5EfdpfbJnpgL2C-9RXI41CHJEfaaBWkeVYz_BbXV4wwUk/s1600/frustrated-auto-repossession-agent_jpg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZZSuRGPOxoEVlg0naRSWZzsQbgXYwhwPYUrMaJLboVdcprVKKJSRkhbxEUAfgJgxLyl3QimH8rcOtDWKulowL4LmGcxlf_C5EfdpfbJnpgL2C-9RXI41CHJEfaaBWkeVYz_BbXV4wwUk/s320/frustrated-auto-repossession-agent_jpg.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">It is
like going into that semi-final game. If I didn’t do everything right in that
semi-final, I would have never made it to that gold medal game or even had a
chance at a medal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">My
life right now is much like that semi- final game but I am down in points, and
there is no single great shot that I can make to win the game. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">I’ll
tell you the truth, I am a big guy. I'm 280 pounds, I have been around the
world, I am a gold medallist, a world champion, the whole bit. One thing I can
tell you is, never ever underestimate or think that what is on the surface is
what the reality is. Ever. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Everyone
has their demons. I have mine. I don’t take drugs, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke
but I have skeletons in my closet. I was afraid because I was too proud. This
was all because of a mindset that I had being instilled in me as an athlete for
22 years. A mindset of saying that “I can do this” and more importantly, that I
could do it on my own. I should not have had to pretend to never need help, to
be strong and to cope. I just know that I am not the only athlete that is in
that place. There are a million athletes that will never tell you the struggles
of what they have and the costs that these struggles have. The ultimate thing
is the cost. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">It
did not just take a toll on me. When I
thought it was all about me, it wasn’t… but I made it all about me because I
was trying to cope. I felt stuck because I never got the support I needed to
transition. For the last years in particular, I just felt like I was trying to
survive.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Quicksand
is a scary thing that none of us really recognize. My deepest fear is that
quicksand will kill you. You are trying to live your life and everything seems
fine. Then one thing goes wrong, then another thing goes wrong, then another,
and you try to fight back… but then you sink. You are stuck until you can't
move and you can't breathe. In reality, you are in over your head. Most of the
time we are either too proud or too embarrassed to know what is happening or
how to ask for help. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Athletes
all around need help and they cry out for help every day. People around you
assume that you are strong and that you need this. The answer at the end of the
day is that unless we recognize that there is a problem, and an untold truth to
what is going on, then all these athletes are going to suffer in silence. We
need to act. Athletes need to know that you can get out of quicksand… someone
just has to throw you a rope.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">I
have a couple of degrees. I have 10 years of Business Administration and I am
46 years old. I have gone through everything I can go through in my life. At
the end of the day, I can't find work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB4CbPIIaJ9_T1SXIGNSuCQlaY_UFdhN2qs8AbrJkspOBRalszFqpjlu5Xtaa7ncKBPZ-uSlawfLCo_gsBLguuVKzZm-9QSFLQt6Z19k64jDZcXp2LgDIxDr3TSt6pcI8uJ1BdXlPpa24/s1600/home.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB4CbPIIaJ9_T1SXIGNSuCQlaY_UFdhN2qs8AbrJkspOBRalszFqpjlu5Xtaa7ncKBPZ-uSlawfLCo_gsBLguuVKzZm-9QSFLQt6Z19k64jDZcXp2LgDIxDr3TSt6pcI8uJ1BdXlPpa24/s320/home.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">I am
older, I have experience, I have an education and I was a Paralympic gold medallist.
So because I have all that you would think I can go in and say, “Hi, I’m Chris
Daw, I have an education, I have experience, you should hire me.” Well no, for
some reason I scare them. That is what I have to deal with. Everyone gets
scared. There is no company out there that wants to help or hire. At least, it
seems that way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Sure,
you have sports psychologists but really, what are they there for? To make you
a better athlete… not a better person after sport. I think we need that component.
For 22 years I had it in my head that it is all about me. I am the center of
attention, the big show, I am the best, I need to be the best, and so on. In
the end, did it accomplish something? Yes, I was the best. Then when it was all
over, I didn’t even really know who I was or what I was doing – until I went
and started discovering things. This is a problem. This is not only hitting
amateur athletes but also professional athletes.. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">I run
what is called the “Wheelchair Curling Blog 2”. I was the leading reporter on wheelchair
curling and the historian on wheelchair curling in the world (this was before
my personal crisis). You know what
sucks? I can’t tell you who won the silver medal at the 2010 Games in Vancouver.
I can tell you that Canada won gold and Sweden won bronze but I can’t tell you
who won silver. I can guess but I can say I don’t definitely know for a fact. I
am the guy who is supposed to know that stuff.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">These
struggles are now affecting basic things, like memory.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">This
story needs to be told. I have sat in the dark for too many years, and I am
here watching TV and I see all these athletes, and I know what to look for in
these athlete’s faces. For</span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">people that meet me (and
happen to learn the truth) they say I am a nice guy and they would never guess what
I am going through and the back-story. Well, putting up that “front” is what we
are trained to do as athletes. That is the problem. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">I
can’t sit here and be angry because there is only one person that I can blame…
and that’s me. However, I was trained not to ask for help. Not to show emotion. Not to show when I am hurting. I was taught to be confident, to be parallel.
To put up this fake facade of what I am supposed to represent. When you live it
and you believe it too much, it is consuming. It has always been there, and I
know the person I am… but I fear it’s too late now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdV9HABvaF93d6v49MFE4D2GcF_Kw2R5Hihw72ZcmeQXlsmErJkCK8NdQN8lBbgaF6zW1oi0GhCIEY8A_EuUF1D2uTJXFfEULX7TYy2aoNNz8IRunyaIhHt9lDniwxss4OhRHJ30rUn84/s1600/315821_272016222835709_139429229427743_697162_1648763619_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdV9HABvaF93d6v49MFE4D2GcF_Kw2R5Hihw72ZcmeQXlsmErJkCK8NdQN8lBbgaF6zW1oi0GhCIEY8A_EuUF1D2uTJXFfEULX7TYy2aoNNz8IRunyaIhHt9lDniwxss4OhRHJ30rUn84/s1600/315821_272016222835709_139429229427743_697162_1648763619_n.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Last
year I was diagnosed with cancer and I’m battling through that. There is no
support; there is no health plan to help you through that. I have been trying
to make sense of everything that I was ever told.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Everybody
is going through it at some point or another. I had people telling me that I
needed some help and that I am not dealing with it properly and I would always
say the same thing: “I can handle it.” I thought to myself that it was all okay…
but that was brainwashing. It is not about me anymore. It is about other
athletes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">There
is one lesson I need to share. Don’t ever let go of who you are. Always keep
who you are in perspective. Every person is going to mature. If you don’t keep
the perspective of who you truly are, then you will lose yourself. You can’t
lose yourself at the cost of everything that’s around you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">There
are too many athletes that stay quiet and struggle with their problems. They do
it because they need to escape the pressure of what they are being asked to be.
What they are being asked to be, is something that they may not necessarily be.
It wasn’t until everything that I had was taken away that I was able to
discover two things. Number one: Who I am.
Number 2: That I wasn’t true to myself, not to mention anyone around me.
That’s the cost of of striving, year after year, for that medal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXBLU70q3VtDOn1vNdsS3vTd94CWXCvDkVGJHeey8Sc-AMiK78LeAGTe2LPkkEHubmFv9Lfn3fsLBJbO7nb-PRbxrnqcsYmbnAkiXkx6W-Dl89_EAhW2qp-5Sm7vaNqA39fTMvV1QQkrU/s1600/tumblr_inline_ncqa0l0Td51t2885v.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXBLU70q3VtDOn1vNdsS3vTd94CWXCvDkVGJHeey8Sc-AMiK78LeAGTe2LPkkEHubmFv9Lfn3fsLBJbO7nb-PRbxrnqcsYmbnAkiXkx6W-Dl89_EAhW2qp-5Sm7vaNqA39fTMvV1QQkrU/s320/tumblr_inline_ncqa0l0Td51t2885v.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">So in
true Canadian style, I am apologizing. I am sorry for what I did in the past. I
am sorry I wasn’t true to myself. I am sorry I wasn’t true to my friends. I am
sorry that I wasn’t true to my family and I am sorry that I didn’t bring this
forward sooner. I can’t say anything else or blame anyone but myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Let
me sum things up for you. Again a quote – “<i>I</i></span><i><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">f you’re willing to go through all the battling you got to go through to
get where you want to get, who’s got the right to stop you? I mean maybe some
of you guys got something you never finished, something you really want to do,
something you never said to someone, something… and you’re told no, even after
you paid your dues? Who’s got the right to tell you that, who? Nobody! It’s
your right to listen to your gut, it ain’t nobody’s right to say no after you
earned the right to be where you want to be and do what you want to do!… You
know, the older I get the more things I gotta leave behind, that’s life. The
only thing I’m asking you guys to leave on the table… is what’s right.”</span></i><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">I
didn’t know how to bring the story forward until someone was brave enough to
tell me that they were willing to tell my story. In the future, don’t wait for
someone to come to that point to ask you to tell your story. Go out and tell it
to your mom or dad, your wife, your husband, your friend. Go find them and tell
them what you are dealing with before it costs you dearly… before it costs you
who you are. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpPbR4n9f8ffbW9JmIbJBC2L0147SYl6nqD8EBB2RLA6A6g0qy5xeZDH9FUEr7_i2OHaJqTxubozPgIDxoXKq4yn9M3E28W12PdDigyPaaaER_y6LZBbgA7OMaPfmXslpL8RfLhA8WPAM/s1600/308439_162297217202579_151370004961967_258887_613464947_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpPbR4n9f8ffbW9JmIbJBC2L0147SYl6nqD8EBB2RLA6A6g0qy5xeZDH9FUEr7_i2OHaJqTxubozPgIDxoXKq4yn9M3E28W12PdDigyPaaaER_y6LZBbgA7OMaPfmXslpL8RfLhA8WPAM/s320/308439_162297217202579_151370004961967_258887_613464947_n.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">In
the end;” you can spare me the ‘it’s not how you win or lose, it’s how you play
the game’ bullshit,” The moral of the story – is not about coming in first; it
is remembering about how and who got you there. It is remembering and preparing
for the after life (after sports), it is about stopping to apricated who and
what is around you because if you don’t NOTHING can prepare you for the consequences
– TRUST ME!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">“Still want to hear a joke?
Fine. Here’s one for you –<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">‘Knock, knock’<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">‘Who’s there?’<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Chris Daw……<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Chris Daw; who?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="color: red; font-size: 11.0pt;">Exactly!<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-36208558933381551272016-02-02T19:04:00.002-08:002016-02-02T19:04:21.756-08:00This is my OPUS......<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguPuryrId2HqgZ9MBRtOWJwFLzWgW1gDVGKV3LxFmymyZpH3sU_ZNjJmwt8fCuCiUW5eeJlp1YvVIEByJr02_6dmeVukCVqn_ivwHmv4D12ChcaR6SAU8lnHSgR5lvbS-GCTjdEcuLIr0/s1600/final_story.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="319" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguPuryrId2HqgZ9MBRtOWJwFLzWgW1gDVGKV3LxFmymyZpH3sU_ZNjJmwt8fCuCiUW5eeJlp1YvVIEByJr02_6dmeVukCVqn_ivwHmv4D12ChcaR6SAU8lnHSgR5lvbS-GCTjdEcuLIr0/s320/final_story.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 14.5pt; margin-bottom: 4.5pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This is my opus of
sort. Each year I get older the more I have to give up...that's life. But for
me I have been blessed with a life filled.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 14.5pt; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 4.5pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I have traveled the world, been the best in the world, loved the
nest in the world, have great kids, been at the bottom, struggled most of my
life in private or public with some form of something.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 14.5pt; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 4.5pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But I get to reflect and I won't be sorry for what I have done
but I will be sorry for some of how I did it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 14.5pt; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 4.5pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“This is the stuff in the
basement….”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 14.5pt; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 4.5pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What this speech is, I cannot define in simple words. I have
taken words and lessons which have been in front of us in many forms and for
many years and I have utilized them so we may better understand what it means
to be motivated, so we can understand the challenges of life and what it takes
to overcome the challenge regardless of how big or small it may be. I am not
here to tell you anything you haven't already heard in fact I am here to take
many of those words and throw them right in front of you so you nor me can
escape from them any longer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 14.5pt; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 4.5pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I have been often told to start a speech with a joke; well don’t
get your hopes up I am not here to tell jokes; fact is I am the guy who
everyone says hates to smile. Like I said I am here to clearly state what no
one else has ever been willing to say but has always wanted to. You see we are
in hell right now. We are; and we can both stay here and get the shit kicked
out of us day after day or we can fight our way back. We have the opportunity
to climb out of hell; right here , right now. We can do it and we can do it
together. As the great Herb Brooks once said; “great moments are born from
great opportunity, and that’s what you have here!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 14.5pt; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 4.5pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Opportunity!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 14.5pt; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 4.5pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You see, we only need to focus on 1 inch of hell at a time, only
1 inch! Hell is "quick sand" have you ever heard this term before?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 14.5pt; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 4.5pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"Quicksand" ?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 14.5pt; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 4.5pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Quicksand is one scary thing that most of us NEVER and I mean
Never recognize. My deepest fear is Quicksand above all others it's Quicksand.
As an example, you're trying to live life, and you think everything is fine,
but then one thing goes wrong, and then another, and another, and you try to
fight back, but the harder you fight, the deeper you sink, until you can't
move, you can't breathe, because in reality, you're in over your head. And most
of the time we are either to proud or too embarrassed to know when to ask or
how to for help! But we can climb out of hell together, inch by inch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 14.5pt; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 4.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 14.5pt; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 4.5pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You see I am here to pick a fight; I am here to pick a fight
with second place. I have as much tolerance and patience for second place as I
do for flies in my soup. For far too long I have sat quiet, and waited. Waited
for something else; a second opportunity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 14.5pt; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 4.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 14.5pt; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 4.5pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Not until very today did I discover what I was missing; what was
right in front of me. I discovered that not only have I had it with waiting but
I have had it with waiting for a second opportunity. I have had it with second
place. I said to myself on this discovery of the stuff left in my basement
that; hey ; “maybe I like flies in my soup, maybe I like second place.” I have
been told so many times the phrase “better luck next time!” Well that is the
crap they feed runner ups. What do you think of second place?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Let me put it another way; if you think second place isn’t such
a bad deal, why don’t you ask General Custard how he felt coming in second at
the battle of the little big horn? Not so good! We know how that one turned
out. And you can spare me the “it’s not whether you win or lose it’s how you
play the game! I guarantee you whoever said that …Lost the game, not just the game
but the whole game including the game of life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Truly it is – win or lose – it has nothing to do with how you
play the game! I have a phrase tattooed on my arm that says: “Fear not the
game, I see clearly.” Well; I finally need to live by this saying again and
figure out the path, to see clearly once more. A phrase by Pink says – “ the
road to darkness has a way of always knowing my name”; Well, I have decided to
go down a different road. Lay a new track a track established by me; with a few
passengers I would like to take along with me and even the chance, to gain the
trust of those willing to listen and travel the same road. Here is the thing
that makes life so interesting; the theory of evolution says; “Only the strong
shall survive!” And maybe so. But the unwritten theory of competition says;
“just because they’re the strong doesn’t mean they can’t get their asses
kicked”. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You see, what every long shot, come from behind underdog will
tell you is this; “the other guy may in fact be the favorite. The odds maybe
stacked against you and that is fair enough.” When you get old in life things
get taken from you, that is just a fact of life. But you only really learn that
when you start losing things. Be it they are taken from you or you give them up
it doesn’t matter. But want the odds don’t know is this; this is no school
test, this is a completely different type of test, one where passion has a
funny way of trumping logic. I was told once; “never let your passion outweigh
your patience.” Well, my patience has run thin. You see in my mind I have not
peaked yet. Some say I have but I don’t know, I think I still have some stuff
in the basement. Deep down in my heart, I know I am not done; NOT YET! I was
put here for a reason and I have sat idle for almost ten years; last time I did
that; I came back and the time before that I came back. Why not again!
Sometimes it is hard to breathe I get so angry about the way I went out the
last time, the choices that were taken from me. I feel like there is a beast
inside me waiting, longing to get out! I never knew it was going to be this
hard, would have never guess in a thousand years it would always be a
challenge. My question is this; “if I am willing to go through all the battling
again then who has the right to stop me?” Why do a few have the right to say
No, and because I spoke up or they don’t like me? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Maybe all of you have something you haven’t finished yet, maybe
you have something… I have taken enough crap to last 2 life times and then
some. Be praised one minute then shit on the next. Be the hero and then the
zero! All for what! To be cast off , like some piece of dirt on the bottom of a
shoe. Given the continual glimmer of hope that maybe someday…just someday if
you are patient and quiet long enough if could just happen. Well, no more. I
think I am going to take my destiny back into my hands – thank you very much!
Who has the right to say No after you have paid your dues – No one. Nobody
does! It is my right to listen to my gut, come clean and then move forward! My
right! I have earned It! I have earned to be where I want to be and do what I
want to do. I found something hidden inside a few movies not long ago and the
most prolific of the entire phrases came from Rocky Balboa: “Somewhere along the
line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your
face and tell you you're no good. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And when things got hard, you started looking for something to
blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know: The world
ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't
care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there
permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But
it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get Hit and keep
moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how
winning is done!... Now if you know what your worth then go out and get what
your worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not point fingers,
saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards
do that and that ain't you! You're better than that! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So before you step up to the starting line, before the whistle
blows and the clock starts ticking. Just remember the results don’t always add
up. No matter what the stats may say, no matter how old you may feel, or what
the experts may think, when the game starts – all bets are off! There is still
stuff in the basement you can go to, still places to live out your dreams, live
out your passion. You don’t have to sit by and watch it or take what is being
falsely handed to you. You can set your life back onto the track that you
deserve. You don’t have to finish because you are told to, you don’t have to end
it because they don’t like you or you’re out spoken. Know your right in what
you have done and will do. Regret nothing and fear less. They can’t be
surprised if someday I decided to flip script and finally take a pass on
yelling uncle. And when that happens, as the old saying goes” Game On!’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Another great phrase is from Marienne Williamson; Our deepest
fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful
beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your
playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about
shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant
to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as
we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to
do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The morale of the story; Listen to the stuff in the basement,
come in first! Still want to hear a joke? Hear is one for you; ‘Knock, Knock”
“Who’s there?” “The guy who finished second.” “The guy who finished second
who?” “Exactly!” No more will I allow myself to sit quiet and stand by; I am
taking out that stuff in the basement.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I am taking myself off the side lines and putting myself back
into the game; because God knows the coach isn’t goin to!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Like I said, I am not going to tell you
anything you haven’t heard before; fact is everything I just said has been
staring us in the face for years, we just need to act on it! Do not follow the
road to darkness; Any one can give up, that is the easy part, the easiest thing
to do. But to hold it together when everyone around you expects you to fall
apart, well that is the strength; that is true courage. Do not lose hold of
your aspirations. For if you do, you may still exist but all your doing is respiratating;
you have ceased to live!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If you FAIL, never give up because F.A.I.L
means “First Attempt In Learning”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">END is not the end, In fact E.N.D means “Effort Never Dies”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 14.5pt;">An if at anytime in life you get told NO and
an answer it simple means “NEXT </span><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3333px;">OPPORTUNITY</span><span style="font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 14.5pt;">”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-18795570230215759142015-10-21T13:17:00.002-07:002015-10-21T13:17:32.120-07:007 Things I Wish My Loved Ones Knew About Living With Disabilities <br />
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<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So I once again have some time on my hands as I begin to press the reset button again and look for work again! Yes, I know WTF? right!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />Well; the story will come out in another post in the next few days. However; I came across the following earlier today and it hit home for me and will for many living with a disability. As I get older I am just beginning to understand the effects of disability and age. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">SO....<br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Take this for what it is! I did modify it to reflect my life but it speak miles aboyt me and about disiability in general. Read it think about it and make a comment if you want; either on here or on my facebook!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b><br /></b></i></span>
<i><b>Posting;</b></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 1.125rem; font-weight: 700; letter-spacing: 0.01rem; line-height: inherit;">1. When I say “I’m tired,” I mean I’m exhausted.</span><br />
<div class="p3" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 1.125rem; letter-spacing: 0.01rem; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 2rem; padding: 0px 1.5rem 0px 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;">
<span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;">There’s a chance I’ve canceled plans because of this, but it means the world to me when you continue to invite me out, because there will be days where the disabilities don’t win. Asking me out to do things is a way of rooting for me more than you know, and I appreciate it very much.</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 1.125rem; letter-spacing: 0.01rem; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 2rem; padding: 0px 1.5rem 0px 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;">
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit;">2. I’m glad your health regime is working for you, but that’s your health. This is my health, and what works for me might be different.</span></div>
<div class="p3" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 1.125rem; letter-spacing: 0.01rem; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 2rem; padding: 0px 1.5rem 0px 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;">
<span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;">Listen, it’s super cool that you feel as though your yoga instructor and detoxifying waters would really benefit me, and I’m stoked you found something that works for you, but my body is different, and I need my medications like I need oxygen. Please understand and be respectful of this. My body, my existence. My choice. Your body, your existence. Your choice.</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 1.125rem; letter-spacing: 0.01rem; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 2rem; padding: 0px 1.5rem 0px 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;">
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit;">3. I am allowed to hate my disabilities.</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 1.125rem; letter-spacing: 0.01rem; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 2rem; padding: 0px 1.5rem 0px 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;">
<span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;">I am allowed to have bad days. I am allowed to have days where the disabilities win, and I toss up a white flag of surrender in a way that Dido adamantly refuses. I am allowed to hate my disability. I am allowed to hate my major depressive disorder. Do not mistake my bad days for self-loathing, and for the love of all that is holy, please don’t toss up your complaints about my disabilities in terms of our dynamic. I know being a loved one has its difficulties, but if you think having me in your life is burdensome, you should try living as me sometime. I’m just sayin’.</span></div>
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</figure><br />
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit;">4. Inclusivity is far more than introducing me to your other friends.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;">It is making sure I get ample notice to schedule my rides in time, and knowing you don’t mind picking me up before we go somewhere. It is making sure the place we’re going is accessible, or a phone call and a game plan in regards to the new venture. If you forget about my wheelchair, you are forgetting a part of me. Don’t take offense when I shut down plans due to inaccessibility. If I feel as though my wheelchair is going to speak for me the majority of our outing when all I really want to do is spend time with you, it’s not going to be a good time. If you don’t show care of my basic needs, you are showing me that my needs aren’t that important to you.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;">That said, sometimes sh*t happens, and I may need help parking my chair in order to take a piss, or I may need help to assist me in getting my chair up a set of stairs. So long as you’re ready for a little bump in the road and don’t regard it as that big of a deal, neither will I.</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit;">5. Sometimes I feel like a burden to you.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;">And I will want to talk about it. These conversations are awkward, painful and awfully important. Chances are, I will say something off-handedly. Like, maybe I heard you talk about how you used to help me get my shoes on in the morning, or maybe my wheelchair was a really big pain to get out of your truck. Perhaps I drunkenly ran over your foot? Who knows? But it’s important. I do not want to be anyone’s obligation. I do not want to be anyone’s path to redemption. I want to be your friend. I want to be a part of this family. I want to know there are pieces in my life bigger and louder than the ones that society has deemed unlovable. I want to know I should not say thank you for loving me. That I am worthy of love and a place within this home, this social circle, this life. So let’s talk about it. Please.</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit;">6. My disabilities do define me (in some aspects of my life).</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="background-color: yellow;">I am your Husband. I am your Dad,I am your friend. I am your brother. I am your son</span>. I also happen to have disabilities that stop me from doing certain things. I do not have the same rights you do. I cannot do everything you can do “just in a different way.” I am disabled, and not because my needs are different, but because society at large deems these needs as not important enough to meet. I cannot have spontaneity in the way that I yearn to. I go through doctors the way you swipe left on your Tinder profile.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;">I am not ashamed in living this life of difference. When you say you don’t see my disabilities, I know you actually mean, “I see the person you are <em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">with</em> these disabilities,” but when you use phrases like, “You’re just differently abled” or “I don’t see the wheelchair,” it kind of makes me want to throw up in my mouth a bit. You’re basically saying, “I don’t see the discrimination you face every day.” Even though you and I know you mean differently.</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit;">7. Know that I’m ready to roll over some toes and kick some a*s whenever you need.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;">Seriously. Just call me up. I’ve got this.</span></div>
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Roboto, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">Read more orginal: <a href="http://themighty.com/2015/10/7-things-i-wish-my-loved-ones-knew-about-living-with-disabilities/#ixzz3pEbS0TcZ" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #003399; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; line-height: inherit; text-decoration: none; transition: all 100ms linear;">http://themighty.com/2015/10/7-things-i-wish-my-loved-ones-knew-about-living-with-disabilities/#ixzz3pEbS0TcZ</a></span><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-54944170626376863262015-03-25T07:49:00.001-07:002015-03-25T07:49:50.166-07:00Life is difficult...right?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ_TAOLlR03I4iBMJx3eaTKhFkrxwlun1SyWWNxk8tH0uSOifZTcJPCNAwQG2RULKBDc9QIaHEg7QuMA_M66cJjZAE4sFa3MmU8lT2gwzYSgrfVCnWZ1nl37gLc734WGqIS8EeaFIpIm0/s1600/I-am-thankful-for-the-difficult-people-in-my-life.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ_TAOLlR03I4iBMJx3eaTKhFkrxwlun1SyWWNxk8tH0uSOifZTcJPCNAwQG2RULKBDc9QIaHEg7QuMA_M66cJjZAE4sFa3MmU8lT2gwzYSgrfVCnWZ1nl37gLc734WGqIS8EeaFIpIm0/s1600/I-am-thankful-for-the-difficult-people-in-my-life.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">What makes Life so difficult?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">We have no control over the choices we
are presented with..Right!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">For example, you may decide to stop at
the 7-11 to get some gas and as you approach the teller to pay a robber
decides to hold up the joint.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 12pt;">Now you find yourself having to make
decisions in a reality that was not your choosing. Yes, you did decided to get
gas, but you didn't decide to be robbed. This is why the whole free will thing
is kind of dumb. Free will is somewhat irrelevant when the choices you are
presented with all lead to undesirable results. </span></span><br />
<br /><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 12pt;">
Even if you make a concerted effort to always make the right choices you have
no control over the choices that other people make and this intricate </span><span style="font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 16px;">inter-dependency</span><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 12pt;"> of our reality is what make life so difficult. It is like
navigating through a maze that continuously changes. Each time you make a
choice your destination changes locations. </span></span><br />
<br /><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 12pt;">
Most people probably don't even notice this. On the surface, life appears to be
just a series of success and failures attributed to effort, coincidence, and
luck, good or bad. No more thought is put into it. Those who never develop
expectations are never disappointed and life just seems to move along. </span></span><br />
<br /><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 12pt;">
Some say that our desire is what makes life difficult. Imagine if we lived in a
world where no one had any desire and we all passively accepted our lives as
they came by and did nothing to change it, the world would be arguably worse
but life may not be as difficult.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">We do make poor choices but many times
the choices are among evils. We are all born equal in that we all have a mother
and a father but there the equality ends. Life presents it own situations to us
and most of them are not of our making. A school outing ends with 15 dead kids
in a rain swollen river. They didn't choose to go. It was required. They
weren't driving the bus. Yet, 15 of them died. So, no, we don't make our life
what it is. We don't drive life, life drives us. We are its tools to meet its
goals. If we get a few kicks along the way, then hurray for us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Consider the lives of people who still
live like we all did thousands of years ago. In huts in the jungle. People like
to think they are in paradise. But in reality they have to work everyday,
sunrise to sunset, just to survive. We have more time off than any of our
ancestors have ever had since the beginning.<br />
Maybe our lives seem difficult because our dreams are too complex.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Life is simple. But all the things that
we include into our life makes it complex and if we try to do too many things
at one time, it makes life hard.</span><span style="color: #324fe1; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA; mso-no-proof: yes;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The simple answer is ATTITUDE. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
If you posses a positive attitude, life isn't all that hard. There will be
difficult periods once in a while, but life, in general, would be good. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Life is what we make it!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The unwillingness to change and know
the difference<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Life is not hard we
make it hard for ourselves<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-53957980098425974412015-02-28T13:43:00.002-08:002015-02-28T13:43:45.954-08:0010 Amazing Strategies That Will Change Everything<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I have always admired Bruce Lee and t<span style="line-height: 21.9799995422363px;">o this day, the name Bruce Lee remains synonymous with </span><a href="http://evolve-mma.com/classes/mixed-martial-arts.html" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border: 0px; color: #ed1a3b; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank" title="Martial Arts">martial arts</a><span style="line-height: 21.9799995422363px;"> </span><span style="line-height: 21.9799995422363px;">and philosophy. As the founder of Jeet Kune Do and a renowned Hollywood actor, he is considered by many to be the most influential martial artist of all time.</span></div>
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Martial artists around the world look to Bruce Lee as a source of inspiration and guidance. From his incredible physique to his tremendous work ethic and deep wisdom, there are many reasons why martial artists use his philosophies as a guide to living life.</div>
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<a href="http://evolve-mma.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/BRUCE-LEE.png" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border: 0px; color: #ed1a3b; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="BRUCE LEE" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2381" height="533" src="http://evolve-mma.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/BRUCE-LEE.png" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-property: opacity; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border: 0px; clear: both; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px auto 14px; max-width: 100%; opacity: 0.99; padding: 0px; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-property: opacity; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;" width="800" /></a></div>
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Here are some of the key life lessons that Bruce Lee has imparted on us:</div>
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Be happy, but never satisfied.</div>
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Being satisfied is tantamount to giving up. It is admitting that you’re alright with just being good, but not great. Yes, we should accept the things that we cannot change, but we should also be striving to improve every day. By being satisfied, we are making an excuse for not working hard to improve.</div>
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Be like water, my friend.</div>
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This is perhaps one of Bruce Lee’s most famous quotes. Water has many attributes. It is fluid and it flows anywhere, changing direction and shape as required. To be like water is to be adaptable to our surroundings. We cannot be too steadfast in our ways because it may hinder us from acquiring new knowledge and experiences.</div>
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<a href="http://evolve-mma.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/bruce-lee-5.png" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border: 0px; color: #ed1a3b; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="bruce lee 5" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2529" height="457" src="http://evolve-mma.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/bruce-lee-5.png" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-property: opacity; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border: 0px; clear: both; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px auto 14px; max-width: 100%; opacity: 0.99; padding: 0px; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-property: opacity; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;" width="640" /></a></div>
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I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.</div>
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As human beings, we often strive to please others. We want validation and acceptance from our peers because our ego tells us that this is what we need. Stop listening to your ego and focus on getting validation from the person that matters the most – yourself. Set your own expectations and remember what an amazing human being you are! Not only will this give you an incredible confidence boost, but it will also make you realize that you can do whatever you want in life.</div>
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Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.</div>
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We are all human, and we are all bound to make mistakes at some point in our lives. No matter how big the mistake is, there is always a chance to make it right. We should not be afraid to confess when we have done something wrong and accept the consequences of our actions. We should have the courage to own up to our mistakes and focus our energy on learning from them.</div>
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<a href="http://evolve-mma.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/bruce-lee-6.png" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border: 0px; color: #ed1a3b; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="bruce lee 6" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2525" height="457" src="http://evolve-mma.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/bruce-lee-6.png" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-property: opacity; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border: 0px; clear: both; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px auto 14px; max-width: 100%; opacity: 0.99; padding: 0px; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-property: opacity; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;" width="640" /></a></div>
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Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.</div>
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In a time when everyone’s lives are plastered on social media for the world to see, it can be difficult to stay true to yourself and not become a victim of a popularity contest. Thanks to social media, it is just that much easier to emulate celebrities, bloggers, or even people in our social circle. Unfortunately, we end up losing ourselves in the process. Being your true self is so much easier – you won’t have to work so hard trying to be someone that you’re not.</div>
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The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.</div>
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We often decide not to take risks because we are afraid of the outcome. But what if we decided to ignore that little voice inside our head telling us “no” and embraced a leap of faith instead? By doing so, we are living life to the fullest. We are savoring every moment while making life truly memorable. Go on, enjoy!</div>
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<a href="http://evolve-mma.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/bruce-lee-3-white.png" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border: 0px; color: #ed1a3b; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="bruce lee 3 white" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2524" height="457" src="http://evolve-mma.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/bruce-lee-3-white.png" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-property: opacity; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border: 0px; clear: both; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px auto 14px; max-width: 100%; opacity: 0.99; padding: 0px; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-property: opacity; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;" width="640" /></a></div>
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I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.</div>
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Practice and patience are everything, especially if you want to become successful in martial arts. To become an expert at anything requires steadfast commitment, laser sharp focus, and countless repetition. Dedicate yourself to becoming the very best at what you do.</div>
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To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.</div>
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Sometimes, we get too caught up with waiting for the perfect moment to start something. The time will NEVER be perfect. Instead of waiting, why not take a chance and make things happen yourself? Even if it is easier to sit around and be reactive, why not be more proactive? Don’t ever be afraid to take chances!</div>
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<a href="http://evolve-mma.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/bruce-lee-4.png" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border: 0px; color: #ed1a3b; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="bruce lee 4" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2528" height="457" src="http://evolve-mma.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/bruce-lee-4.png" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-property: opacity; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border: 0px; clear: both; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px auto 14px; max-width: 100%; opacity: 0.99; padding: 0px; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-property: opacity; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #444444; font-family: 'Droid Serif', serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 21.9799995422363px; margin-bottom: 14px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #444444; font-family: 'Droid Serif', serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 21.9799995422363px; margin-bottom: 14px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">9) BE HONEST</span></div>
<blockquote style="background: url(http://evolve-mma.com/blog/wp-content/themes/newsroom14/img/shortcodes/blockquote.png) 0px 0px no-repeat rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Droid Serif', serif; font-size: 15px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: italic; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 20px 10px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 40px; quotes: none; vertical-align: baseline;">
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If you don’t want to slip up tomorrow, speak the truth today.</div>
</blockquote>
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Ever since we were young, our parents have always told us that honesty is the best policy. This is one of the single greatest pieces of advice you will ever receive. Being honest with yourself and others is always the best option. Honesty builds trust, and trust is the foundation of every meaningful relationship.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #444444; font-family: 'Droid Serif', serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 21.9799995422363px; margin-bottom: 14px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">10) STAY CALM</span></div>
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<div style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 0.75em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.</div>
</blockquote>
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Nothing good ever happens when tempers flare. When you lose your temper, you become irrational. You are more likely to act out of impulse. At this point, you probably aren’t even thinking straight, and how you react may turn into something that you will eventually regret. Instead of losing your temper, why not count to three (yes, that actually works) and reflect on the situation before you react.</div>
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May the legacy of Bruce Lee and his teachings live on through eternity.</div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-27275043208440739292014-11-29T10:43:00.000-08:002014-11-29T10:43:17.781-08:00Dealing with the dark side<img src="http://www.fantasticmoms.nl/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/tumblr_static_the-dark-side.jpg" /><br />
<br />
Ok; if life was simple we would all be millionaires, right! Of course a coffee would cost about $10000 but hey I am just saying.<br />
<br />
Dealing with the dark side is not much easier. My whole life regardless of what I have tried to do has had nothing but well dark people to deal with. Be it personal or professional it has always been dark. Mind you I found a few sparks of light (Morgan) but....<br />
<br />
I discovered that what every you try people will try and bring you down. My friend once said DTA. I said what the hell is that. <br />
<br />
Don't trust anyone!<br />
<br />
Believe me folks DTA!<br />
<br />
My new journey began 3 days ago, and this morning was the first step to discovery of whom to trust and whom not to trust.<br />
<br />
Please come with me, the original me and follow the bouncy ball should be interesting to see where this trip takes me.<br />
<br />
<br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-11966013453799976812014-10-11T16:55:00.000-07:002014-10-11T16:55:09.944-07:00The start of a different journey!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1IftQtqOGEokqK20B0jmR8QApEacunbE4Q9bB9pEMNqF3HY0x5dMDOR-tDfYG7hjP-ro2NA3o_yFWfkkIbQLBkgSVn0t2jz35GAyMXy40-wPftvF-AKPU_-pkkTooK3w4qTE9IFMYv04/s1600/secret.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1IftQtqOGEokqK20B0jmR8QApEacunbE4Q9bB9pEMNqF3HY0x5dMDOR-tDfYG7hjP-ro2NA3o_yFWfkkIbQLBkgSVn0t2jz35GAyMXy40-wPftvF-AKPU_-pkkTooK3w4qTE9IFMYv04/s1600/secret.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I suspect that it is impossible to hear a cancer
diagnosis and not experience some degree of anxiety. A mixture of anxiety and
depression inevitably accompany at least these early days of cancer, and may
intensify at critical junctures along the way. The most difficult moment so far
is the diagnosis, the start of active treatment, losing one's hair, the
completion of active treatment, and, if relevant, the period around a recurrence
and any later progression are all things I will experience but the diagnosis
was the hard part.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">On October 8,
2014 I found out definitively that I had Renal Cell Carcinoma with
complications. The tumour is the size of a walnut in the mid-section of my left
kidney combined with a 7cm kidney stone in the same kidney; just to top it off.
Now, add in cysts on my right kidney, or so they think and Ya me I have cancer
with complications. Mom always said; “go big, or stay home” just not sure she
meant this.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So what does
it all mean…well it means perspective! It means changes. Oh did I forget to
tell you Morgan was let go from her job on the same day. The same job she was passionate
about and worked alongside me for 2.5 years. Why? Well, if I knew I would tell
you and honestly I will have to get back to you on. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">One of the most unforeseen benefits of living with cancer is the intimacy
it creates with individuals we barely know. Affections spring up with
surprising force. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">About a succession of complaints, Virginia
Woolf believed that “the best of these illnesses is that they loosen the earth
about the roots. They make changes. People express their affections.” I
considered Woolf’s words when we were coming out of the Polar Vortex, much of
which I spent hibernating, </span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">More people have
come out to wish me luck, to let me know I can do. Ya for Facebook! Don’t take me wrong at all it is wonderful to see
and the support is more than welcomed. What it did for me is one thing….I started
to think about my funeral. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">No the
cancer is not that bad (knock on wood) but hey it is natural to think about
this when you start out on this journey of living with cancer. My wife and I
spoke about what I want and what she wanted. It was a GREAT conversation not weird
at all. Then I started reading and learned of something new…A living funeral.
You heard me; a living funeral; look it up if you don’t believe me. I read and
the more I read the more I wanted it. I mean honestly; what is a funeral for,
THE LIVING! I would be dead and what I am going to care what happens. Not like
I am going to get up and say; hey I object. It is for the living!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So then I
thought about Facebook and how all these people support me and would it not be
nice to see these people one last time before you died. To say thank you (or
something) before it was to late and they or you couldn’t do it. Think about it….you
died and everyone come out of the wood work. Why not come out before you die?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">So amid Thanksgiving festivities, stop and think what you want to say to
the living. Take the opportunity to do it know. Don’t sit in shock to receive a
message.</span></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Don’t wait for the call “He’s no longer with us,” as one holds back
tears. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Will the word “irreplaceable” hang in the bruised air, while grief
lingers for what we should have done. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">I recall a famous epitaph:<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Remember me as you pass by,<br />
As you are now so once was I.<br />
As I am now, so you must be.<br />
Prepare yourself to follow me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">When I imagine hearing these words, they sound less like an ominous
injunction, and more like a cordial invitation to contemplate the
(inconceivable yet inevitable) moment when I will cease to be. So I say the
words once stated in a song I love…”Parting Glass”. (which will be play at my
funeral) and let the word truly relate to who I am!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Of all the money that e'er I had<br />
I spent it in good company<br />
And all the harm I've ever done <br />
Alas it was to none but me <br />
And all I've done for want of wit <br />
To mem'ry now I can't recall <br />
So fill to me the parting glass<br />
Good night and joy be to you all<br />
<br />
So fill to me the parting glass <br />
And drink a health whate’er befalls <br />
And gently rise and softly call <br />
Good night and joy be to you all <br />
<br />
Of all the comrades that e'er I had<br />
They're sorry for my going away<br />
And all the sweethearts that e'er I had<br />
They'd wish me one more day to stay <br />
But since it fell unto my lot<br />
That I should rise and you should not <br />
I gently rise and softly call<br />
Good night and joy be to you all<br />
<br />
Fill to me the parting glass <br />
And drink a health whate’er befalls <br />
And gently rise and softly call <br />
Good night and joy be to you all <br />
<br />
But since it fell unto my lot<br />
That I should rise and you should not<br />
I gently rise and softly call<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-->
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></span></i></b></div>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Good night and joy be to you all</span></i></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></i></b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrHMINRKK8QKaUkCDv3yTFd8Uu8MSTK3qSQjYBRoI4OFBldQ5CLUxgrJgoxipGWMoHobc-P7Lt3QOtR5IrxurDgoTumz5g8T_6PmejofegtUaks-vB0yVTXa6erRAFxF0jvZG568BvTGY/s1600/shhh-tattoo-weheartit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrHMINRKK8QKaUkCDv3yTFd8Uu8MSTK3qSQjYBRoI4OFBldQ5CLUxgrJgoxipGWMoHobc-P7Lt3QOtR5IrxurDgoTumz5g8T_6PmejofegtUaks-vB0yVTXa6erRAFxF0jvZG568BvTGY/s1600/shhh-tattoo-weheartit.jpg" height="281" width="320" /></a></div>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></i></b>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-23651739446303130812011-12-22T09:45:00.000-08:002011-12-22T09:47:45.776-08:00A christmas gift for some....the offical annoucement!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0PLayMoy6FucZzqMkyPgjHYHUvkDAvAo0Ei-oQ0H1slm4VqrgkV5IBnpRHuOLQKGuG4oW8Vfs5puRbJUtva1__CVzfBco5WoOambPDL7r-9UTgDI_PRWnVIpOaiLkAQoqcqLRHG1osTA/s1600/im_retired_tshirt-p2353320443562397072rg0j_325.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0PLayMoy6FucZzqMkyPgjHYHUvkDAvAo0Ei-oQ0H1slm4VqrgkV5IBnpRHuOLQKGuG4oW8Vfs5puRbJUtva1__CVzfBco5WoOambPDL7r-9UTgDI_PRWnVIpOaiLkAQoqcqLRHG1osTA/s320/im_retired_tshirt-p2353320443562397072rg0j_325.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We after a number of years and questions; I guess I better make it official. After 30 years in the Paralympic movement I am retiring from international competition and competition as a whole.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I think I have had a good run; 5 official different sports for Canada, athletics, basketball, wheelchair rugby, marathon and curling; with a mention to sit volleyball as well. I attended multi Paralympic games with Australia and Turin being the most memorable for me. I am one of the few to have had the chance to represent Canada at both summer and winter paralympic games.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Before I offically leave, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would like to make one statement about my curling career. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I never quit! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I asked for a leave of absence, I have just never really made it back up to that level but I never quit. I had a bunch of personal things going on at the time and it was best for the program I step aside for a time. With that and the success of Jim (a friend of mine, and proud to say that) there was never a need to go back but please remember I never quit.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I cannot really remember how many medals I have one but if one had to guess and my son did this for me ;the total is 600+. I attended 61 World championships and 120 National Championship events. I have had a wonderful career and made some great friends along the way, some which have lasted and will last a life time. I have been on 5 of the 6 continents and god only knows how many countries but Scotland, England, Australia and Japan where the best times I ever had.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There will be no media press conference and honestly I don’t think anyone will really care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would have liked to continue but I don’t think the opportunity will present itself so now is the time. I will focus on my family which gave so much over the years and focus on career.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I hope I made a difference, I hope I represented everyone including Canada at a level which would be considered great! Thank you everyone for the opportunity. See you somewhere down the road.</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-53639769482268650482011-12-15T10:50:00.000-08:002011-12-16T10:46:21.997-08:00Merry Christmas to All and to all a good night....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/EhXfH8DVxc8?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe> </div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/ar8tdHWin54?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br />
<br />
In a year defined by change more than any other I just want to say this.</div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Never let your passion out run patience.</div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Remember these words and you will understand struggle and love more than ever.</div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I have no idea what the next year will bring but I do hope for just a few things.</div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">1. Opportunity - as a whole. In life and in understanding</div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">2. Understanding - I really want people to understand who I was is not who I am. Given a chance I can show you then change, but I need the chance.</div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">3. Chance - I need a chance or two. I just need the chance to succeed again. In all aspects; in life, love, sports, my children and the list goes on.</div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I have tried and tried again to get across the line and move on. I don't know if I will return to sports or not. At 42 I would like to think I am not done yet but I need a chance. </div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Just one more.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div>But enough about my wants....<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div>Merry Christmas to all and a BIG thank you as well. I feel like I have a huge family walking me though these times and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>I cannot express what the impact of your support and messages mean. <o:p></o:p></u></b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Thank you for believing in me those that do and those which are speculative........please just believe.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Merry Christmas and a Happy New year to all of you!</div><div class="separator" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj29ueOWPmYQzbtogDGnh4M6NTEGeTKtZdqV_pkiZTQZHur5Bl6YGIvO0ZVywnPjsz80taj_qD6pH77tkfazkfRLjV_YUC_iRZx094ZBJUWMv0JmjQlmzT3lfK18ojP5tqB3Nw_gSMxK1Q/s1600/390368_10151034482260268_586890267_21615030_742204326_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj29ueOWPmYQzbtogDGnh4M6NTEGeTKtZdqV_pkiZTQZHur5Bl6YGIvO0ZVywnPjsz80taj_qD6pH77tkfazkfRLjV_YUC_iRZx094ZBJUWMv0JmjQlmzT3lfK18ojP5tqB3Nw_gSMxK1Q/s320/390368_10151034482260268_586890267_21615030_742204326_n.jpg" width="320" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-56560673120798307282011-12-03T12:04:00.000-08:002011-12-03T12:04:21.149-08:00“In the dark it is always darkest before the dawn.”<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFuzPmcQjAS1zx5uNPQFXhk3s8pPr7oP_SKngj8ADg5gQjVg7UmT2ys6YxsUhDfiVA5TIkdPWj4OWS9259CDTF4Vyw9Tgoe2HpRnY1eCqFp_rNTNiQY_TgDX6Lg6DSVGynP_yiCpdhVKs/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFuzPmcQjAS1zx5uNPQFXhk3s8pPr7oP_SKngj8ADg5gQjVg7UmT2ys6YxsUhDfiVA5TIkdPWj4OWS9259CDTF4Vyw9Tgoe2HpRnY1eCqFp_rNTNiQY_TgDX6Lg6DSVGynP_yiCpdhVKs/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The last few months have been a time of change for me. I have had a lot of time to reflect on what was,; what is but not so much on what will or could be. It has been a dark time for me.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“In the dark it is always darkest before the dawn.”</strong> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a quote or line I heard some where once. I hope this has truth to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Right now not only for me but for many the hour is dark. I know it is dark for some/many. So many people are hurting right now. So many people are struggling to find inspiration , faith, even hope that tomorrow the dawn breaks and life turns the corner. Trust me I understand now more than ever what this means. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The last few weeks have been very difficult for me and my family. Not a lot of good news. Morgan has had a great amount of good occur for her and maybe that is what I need to reflect on. Maybe it is her time right now and mine is to support her efforts as she moves along. Much like she has done so many times in the past for me. I have never been as ideal as I am right now, in such a search for reason.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I did have a little more ray of dawn shine today. My brother Phil came over today. I have not really spoken much to him in the last little bit. He surprised me by coming over to bare a gift which was magnificent but stayed to chat for a few moments. It meant so much to me. The chat was small talk and him explaining what he has been doing at work. Although I don’t know that exact title of what is up for , I am so <u>proud</u> to say he is up for a number of awards though his work. Phil has followed his passion and by all a counts has his dream job. He works as a horticulturist and driver for a major hotel in London.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As long as I can remember, my brother has been involved in horticulture in one form or another. But what is more impressive is his dedication to those which he drives. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He told me about his efforts and accomplishments of work. How he drives children to the cancer clinic and how when needed he will have a stuffed animal given to a child in need and how the cost of that animal deducted from his pay. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><strong>A great person my brother, a great person.</strong> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A person we can all learn from. I have always had him there in support of my efforts and now in whatever way I can I am here to support him.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If not believed, I do love all my brothers and my sister very much. They have always been around for me in one way or another. As I was growing up were where much closer and as much of us experience as we grow older life often gets in the way. We grow apart, we fight, we argue and even at times we hate but we are still family.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am writing this to let them know I care and love them but more over thank them for being them, my brothers and my sister. Maybe someday I will be able to say this to you in person but until that day comes, this will have to do. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am proud to call them family and I am proud to call each and every person that is a friend to me a friend.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thank you all.</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-19788327795702724642011-11-17T08:34:00.000-08:002011-11-17T08:34:07.336-08:00The Passage of time….<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">I</span> opened a book preface with the line, “There’s no greater challenge, more or less significant than the passage of time.”<o:p></o:p></strong></span><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0C-DxJYLFgFMx9Tqj44V3OlTe5IyPLBWaIyciFGl5Kew0Y_SzNnmAgD4Kpdz2wAus6QBiQgAokoYE3lQd4tiH5Yiebkon3VajSlTL1BwXn6WIZPm9-o4GzaA2Q1tMicLs6hSOWyBZ5ac/s1600/untitled.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0C-DxJYLFgFMx9Tqj44V3OlTe5IyPLBWaIyciFGl5Kew0Y_SzNnmAgD4Kpdz2wAus6QBiQgAokoYE3lQd4tiH5Yiebkon3VajSlTL1BwXn6WIZPm9-o4GzaA2Q1tMicLs6hSOWyBZ5ac/s1600/untitled.png" /></a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, in the many years since, that line has remained with me, with my understanding that empathy and compassion are two of the most sincere traits that we can possess. See, what I’ve learned through my own challenges and struggles is that while no two people or struggles are the same, challenges and struggles effect most individuals at some point in life – often at several points in life – and although the origins of challenges and struggles vary greatly, their impact is universal, requiring all of us in moments of desperation to find an inner-strength to step back from the ledges we find ourselves on. And, when we’ve stood on the ledges of life – on the verge of slipping off, falling off, wheeling off – we know how tough it is for others in those situations, but what happens when we find ourselves facing the same situation.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">When you live successfully with disability – and, dare I say, <em><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">honestly</span></em>, where you don’t portray life as perfect, but as simply survivable, regardless of challenge or struggle – it is inevitably clear to others that you’ve been to the ledge and back, gaining wisdom along to way. After all, if one is struggling, one can relate with someone who’s obviously struggled, too – and there’s a sort of reassurance in seeing that another has somehow made it through the tougher times in life, mountains climbed, scars earned, wisdom gained, and ledges safely passed. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">When you put these perspectives together – those who are facing life’s challenges and struggles, with those who have struggled and survived; the fact is, many are too often alone in facing their challenges and struggles – and it is scary, isolating, and debilitating. What’s even worse is when one discusses one’s challenges and struggles with someone who hasn’t “been there,” and ends up being judged, lectured, and ridiculed – harmful feedback that can only make one feel more defeated, pushing one farther out on the ledge. But, when there’s a true mutual understanding between people. We share, we listen, and we build trust – that is, we create the foundations of truly the most meaningful, supportive, healing relationships in our lifetimes.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">And, when we’re in need, with such an empathetic, compassionate friend in our midst, the outcomes are life-changing: We can exhale our true feelings, we can open ourselves up in a safe place, we can explore our emotions, we can express true wishes, and we can just be. When it all comes together, it’s not just a friendship that’s life-sustaining, but can actually be life-saving – conversations that allow us to restart <em><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">living</span></em>. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">Those who have faced life’s challenges and struggles, we know how tough they can be to overcome. Yet, when we overcome them, we have an evolved empathy and compassion for others of such kindred spirits. Let us be there for others – without judgment, as unconditionally as possible. And, if we’re fortunate enough to have someone who’s there for us unconditionally – offering an open hand, drawing us back when we’re standing on a ledge – let us cherish that friendship and reciprocate. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is what happen to me when I met Morgan. She pulled me from the ledge and saved my life. Allowed me to once again understand the regardless of what I thought I did have meaning to others and have changed life’s though my message though my living.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">I sit on the sidelines waiting for an opportunity be that in a career, in sport, or in life. Perhaps one day though the passage of time people will understand that I really am not who I was and started my life over when I met Morgan. I will sit patiently with aspirations of hope and understanding. We a belief that people may understand that the past is the past and pages for people can be rewritten should they be given the opportunity. See, the goal <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>is to not just to top the mountains of life, but to top the mountains of life <em><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">together</span></em>, hand-in-hand and this can only be done though the passage of time..<o:p></o:p></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-47922111065554380572011-11-15T09:19:00.000-08:002011-11-15T09:42:06.517-08:00Happy Birthday Mom - I love you , you know.<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC21L8ECx7rjM7fF2GBKruI8kCK1y8-9EjXS7Rivd3jESFgwtx7A-cYbfaAxMcZJlRjlTE3vyxtsupTnUEB61PqhhsnyC50MBFgiMAOyUe3ExrshAb0c9hL-bWxDrz6tVe4gk_p7kvSkY/s1600/edaw1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC21L8ECx7rjM7fF2GBKruI8kCK1y8-9EjXS7Rivd3jESFgwtx7A-cYbfaAxMcZJlRjlTE3vyxtsupTnUEB61PqhhsnyC50MBFgiMAOyUe3ExrshAb0c9hL-bWxDrz6tVe4gk_p7kvSkY/s320/edaw1.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Eleanor F. Daw</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Today is my mom's birthday.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">How old she is does not matter, time for her now stands still. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Today is a day for reflections and celebration. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My mom passed away on April 29, 2010. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have read my brothers tribute to her which was as always touching.(<a href="http://simplekel.blogspot.com/2011/03/relentless-willow.html">http://simplekel.blogspot.com/2011/03/relentless-willow.html</a>)</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My sister posted a link to a song which had tears well in my eyes (</span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4qPKc6_x2k"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4qPKc6_x2k</span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It is a time hard to explain to my children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My oldest boy Kyle knew his grandmother and missing her deeply. My other boys knew her and loved her but did not really have the time to get to know her. My daughter Arowyn was only seen once by my mother over Skype. She smiled at my mom and my mom called her tulip. I know my mom watches over them and provide guidance to them each day. I sometimes feel she sit on my shoulder and talks to me, telling me not to give up and not to fear for hope is just around the corner.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Forever I will never understand why my mother was taken from this family; from my father. She was so loved and loved 10 fold in return. She is missed almost as much as she was loved, each one of us still grieving in our own ways. I never really got to say goodbye to my mom, never got to say I love you one last time. Why? I will know the day see holds me in her arms again; sometime down the road; a day she only knows.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt7UsXY4feeBZu3Yio4-3PFfL06-2K-Z1tt02W9KVStcYinfizpF6GFBFhgcr03wGpBxNRWU3a1VLiG8oNEzQ5X7hhy_Vmo8FyEC6Vrc5XeWFJmhH2SmZsmqE_iI3AKZmt6tKp8N5meBg/s1600/eidaw1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt7UsXY4feeBZu3Yio4-3PFfL06-2K-Z1tt02W9KVStcYinfizpF6GFBFhgcr03wGpBxNRWU3a1VLiG8oNEzQ5X7hhy_Vmo8FyEC6Vrc5XeWFJmhH2SmZsmqE_iI3AKZmt6tKp8N5meBg/s320/eidaw1.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ivan & Eleanor Daw</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Every morning I wake up and put on a mask,<br />
the mask makes everything seem alright,<br />
But they don’t know I cry at night,<br />
The nightmares just won’t go away<br />
If only I knew it was your last day<br />
once more the words of love would have been said<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve felt this pain <br />
The feeling just won’t go away,<br />
Everyone thinks I’ve dealt with your death the best,<br />
but without this mask Id be a mess.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Struggle is not something we need to accept but some thing which only presents itself each day.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My mom struggled on a numbers of roads in life but never did stop loving anyone of us and never will.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“I love you, you know” is an older post which I wrote at the time of my mom’s passing and I invite you to read it (</span><a href="http://wwwchrisdawca.blogspot.com/2010/05/i-love-you-you-know-eleanor-francis-daw.html"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">http://wwwchrisdawca.blogspot.com/2010/05/i-love-you-you-know-eleanor-francis-daw.html</span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">) <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Then I ask you all regardless of how you feel, to call, hug, visit, what ever you need to do to those which means something to you regardless of the pass. Reach out to them and say I love you, or even hey.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Because one day you will not have that chance and the void will be great and empty.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I love you mom and miss you more than anyone will ever know.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Christopher.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzSfU6DjbGODQNQipTvXoQpjz6-Pt7f97SAY7CvFAa9L6N0pFHKkveSngGufy5ZbdZ5_rl-ZHIolETCfCR665BHMJ4vNgqs8J_iVJN9ugpH6ru49VWVOE3kHG6WHRSE3bvY7gi0jkpqMc/s1600/edaw2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzSfU6DjbGODQNQipTvXoQpjz6-Pt7f97SAY7CvFAa9L6N0pFHKkveSngGufy5ZbdZ5_rl-ZHIolETCfCR665BHMJ4vNgqs8J_iVJN9ugpH6ru49VWVOE3kHG6WHRSE3bvY7gi0jkpqMc/s320/edaw2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Mom's remberance stone</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-35004808719758586872011-11-04T08:20:00.000-07:002011-11-04T08:20:27.313-07:00Elmo has such a greater meaning....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcyxIyv3LuxkDKUBfgLmIE6gGdHRRtb1KrI_CwaOD11bgbas_bMHfgKiAC3VlCduMbZWis6sJ4BIZ0I58hVvalszrZDxIh9btK-KdzPluA3I4XgNhrkUxHTCTu_Mqg9WZ5LYxeIoEP8So/s1600/Elmo_image-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcyxIyv3LuxkDKUBfgLmIE6gGdHRRtb1KrI_CwaOD11bgbas_bMHfgKiAC3VlCduMbZWis6sJ4BIZ0I58hVvalszrZDxIh9btK-KdzPluA3I4XgNhrkUxHTCTu_Mqg9WZ5LYxeIoEP8So/s320/Elmo_image-3.jpg" width="203" /></a></div> <strong><span style="font-size: large;">Elmo means "I love you"</span></strong><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Each day passes without real notice to anyone. We sometimes wake up to wonder where time went. The other day I was sitting with Arowyn (my daughter) and this fact hit me. Arowyn is my prize so to say. All my children are. I have a few. My older girls Pam and Chantelle are well into adulthood now. They are 19 and 17; one with Kodi my granddaughter who turns 1 in February. They are both from my ex-wife Mari. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Kyle is my oldest son from my marriage to Mari but lives with Morgan and I. He is a great boy who is dedicated to his family. Arowyn looks upon him in awww. Everyday sitting at the windows awaiting his return from school yelling Ky, Ky. Until he walks though the door and she can be held by him and they walk off to get their brothers. He really is a GREAT kid. He works very hard trying to do his best for me and Morgan. He does not always succeed but he is always appreciated and loved. Thank you ,Kyle.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Shane and Tj or better known as the “fix it brothers” are good kids to. They are peas in a pod and arm in arm stand by each other. They love their brother and sister. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They also work hard at doing the right things not always have success either but the effort is there. Thank you boys. They are loved as well and we try hard to make sure all the boys know right from wrong and get along.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Arowyn throughout the day will YELL; TJ; <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>as she does not understand where he went. She checks the window 200 times a day between 11am and 3pm for her brothers crying out for them.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">She is a dream. Blues eyes to die for; bright smile; blonde hair. I will have to stand guard with my guns when she is older to fight the boys off. She is always happy but can have a major attitude when she wants. The other day my sister Tracey helped as I fix my car. I had asked her to watch Arowyn. Well; 2 hours later and my loving, happy daughter was still yelling at the top of her lungs. Not to discount the valiant efforts of my sister. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She did a great job but next time I need to bring her ear plugs. Arowyn can have attitude. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Arowyn has one love in the world right now; ELMO. I got a tickle me Elmo from Morgan about 4 years ago as a gift. Elmo is Morgan and mines code word for “I love you”. So the gift was perfect at the time. A few years later and Elmo is loved. Arowyn tows him around the house doing everything. And gods forgive you should you come between her and him.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">She dress him, diapers him, feeds him; well I bet you get the picture. I think in her own way she has even asked me to buy him a car but the budget has not worked out for that yet. Next blog I will have the adventures of Elmo ready to go and you can read the toilet and swimming lessons she tried to give him. Remember one thing about that doll. The batteries…..so when you see her hair standing on end you now understand (just joking)</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Arowyn loves her mom. She is going though the worst time of her life right now. Every time her mom leaves she pans at the windows yell for her mommy for 5 to 25 minutes. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is getting better but it is very difficult on her. Morgan use to stay at home with her when I work and Arowyn has not figured thing out yet that when she leaves she will return. I have a few tricks but is very difficult time and only time will tell or more over learn.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Morgan is my wife of 3 years and I have been with her for 5 in total. We both have our past but better yet we have our future. Today November 4 is our anniversary day of when we officially became a couple. I love her with all my heart. I truly believe I am a much better person today because of her. I gave up my old life, all my wrong doings, all my errors (I still make a few) . She has changed me for the better.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She showed me who I am and what I can be. I am not perfect and I have wrong so many people. For that all I can say is I am sorry. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will not apologize but I can say I was wrong and I am sorry. Take it for what it is and the words I have said. I am sorry.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Morgan and the kids are my life. I love them and that is to be noted.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Happy Anniversary <span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Mor</span>gan , it has been a great 5 years awaiting the next 5. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I LOVE YOU.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have moved on from the VCC and although missed and not understood. I have my foundation, my wife, my kids, my family and those I call friends. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My door, phone and heart is open to all of you. You know you can count on me for support and love. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">That is who I am now and what I try to be.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">THANK YOU all for your embrace, forgiveness, friendship and so much more.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvPeQE8pHMFmGQOG9OikThjfFBLKLXiJpg-EPkYbv2hfe7cW-eHulyvBDDq27pCXAOY3rzPg41eRfNi50f1Q1MU7C2bj5oYzYlTA52f1BYxY4bR8Dz0jfTx1aFrgVOPRyCPybqokrZ2z0/s1600/thank-you.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvPeQE8pHMFmGQOG9OikThjfFBLKLXiJpg-EPkYbv2hfe7cW-eHulyvBDDq27pCXAOY3rzPg41eRfNi50f1Q1MU7C2bj5oYzYlTA52f1BYxY4bR8Dz0jfTx1aFrgVOPRyCPybqokrZ2z0/s320/thank-you.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><strong><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></strong><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><strong><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Next time the adventures of Elmo and swimming in the toilet! </span></strong></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><strong><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shocking outcome to be announced!</span></strong></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-73899955484400073532011-10-26T13:25:00.000-07:002011-10-26T13:32:44.493-07:00The passage of time is never long enough.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtXhhW1cU64P5hvcfYIn9CrQBLVcHHxUo6OUog1TzfL9fNOYVAX0OZoFkFqrzlQDhVGacDgZo5Irlsm46ldkrsdflowO9Z7jGlm-XTCCMp4loebONMo0ntcGlvMZnUTaa3je3op0cPGyM/s1600/time-warp1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtXhhW1cU64P5hvcfYIn9CrQBLVcHHxUo6OUog1TzfL9fNOYVAX0OZoFkFqrzlQDhVGacDgZo5Irlsm46ldkrsdflowO9Z7jGlm-XTCCMp4loebONMo0ntcGlvMZnUTaa3je3op0cPGyM/s320/time-warp1.jpg" width="320" /></a>So, I have been back in Ontario for near 2 weeks now and nothing really has changed. A few things but nothing really. Family is the same, Town is the same, etc.<br />
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In others words, nothing changes or not enought time has occured between my last time here and now.<br />
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It was interesting to see that in my poll that 2 people don't care if I moved back. I though the number was going to be higher. <br />
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I ran into a friend the other day and she said, "I heard you where back" in a way that made me wonder a few things. The way she said it sounded like she was expecting me to say something or jump up and down. Fact is, I came home for myself and my family. I wanted my kids to be closer to my family and have a chance to get to know them a little bit before some of them are not around anymore. <br />
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Time is a funny thing, you never know when enough has past and my the time you do you have missed most thing.<br />
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For those of you wanting more details on what happen at the VCC, that will come inthe next blog.<br />
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To finish this one up; I got this email today which most of the below came from, I found it very interesting and will expand on my meaning in the next blog as well.<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">Here’s an interesting fact: Before adaptive technology, medication, and assistive equipment, Neanderthals (commonly known as “Cave men”) took care of tribe members with disabilities who had trouble performing tasks necessary for survival.</div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">If caring for people was so easy a caveman could do it, why is it so hard to receive assistance today?</div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">It is encouraging to see the community of Canada’s Disability Living Blog take care of one another. By sharing encouraging stories and offering advice to others, you are providing individuals with support. If you haven’t visited the website yet, explore the conversations taking place at <a href="http://www.benchmarkemail.com/c/l?u=3C1C1C&e=FD4C2&c=D9E6&t=0&l=286CEF5&email=kTAdg%2FCd3oIphrSCku%2ByOMtQO6gcUxkL" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">www.disabilityliving.ca</span></a>.</div><br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: center;"><strong>This week's blog series focuses on “Disability Etiquette.”</strong></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">Does it surprise you that Disability Rights in Canada have been progressing for 40 years, yet some people still don’t know what terms are appropriate to use when addressing this sensitive issue?</div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">What could have been done in the past to educate citizens about disabilities? How do you think awareness can be spread in the future? Here is a timeline of Disability Rights in Canada: <a href="http://www.benchmarkemail.com/c/l?u=3C1C1D&e=FD4C2&c=D9E6&t=0&l=286CEF5&email=kTAdg%2FCd3oIphrSCku%2ByOMtQO6gcUxkL" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.disabilityliving.ca/people-with-disabilities-canadian-disability-rights-timeline/</span></a>. Tell us where education could have been applied and your hopes for educating generations yet to come.</div><br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: center;"><strong>What does “Disability Etiquette” Mean?</strong></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">One blog post defines Disability Etiquette as, “…<span style="background: white;">extending certain courtesies to individuals with a disability in such ways that allow them to feel comfortable, included in society, and respected.”</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="background: white;">What does this term mean to you? Share your definition here: </span><a href="http://www.benchmarkemail.com/c/l?u=3C1C1E&e=FD4C2&c=D9E6&t=0&l=286CEF5&email=kTAdg%2FCd3oIphrSCku%2ByOMtQO6gcUxkL" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.disabilityliving.ca/people-with-disabilities-disability-etiquette/</span></a><span style="background: white; color: #333333;">.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="background: white;">Also, do you have tips to help others become more aware of their speech and behaviour when interacting with people in the disability community?</span></div><br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: center;"><strong>Does Disability Etiquette Ever Change?</strong></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">Often times, there is more to a disability than meets the eye. We are eager to hear your thoughts about how to interact with individuals who have challenges in the following areas:</div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">Hearing: <a href="http://www.benchmarkemail.com/c/l?u=3C1C1F&e=FD4C2&c=D9E6&t=0&l=286CEF5&email=kTAdg%2FCd3oIphrSCku%2ByOMtQO6gcUxkL" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.disabilityliving.ca/people-with-disabilities-interacting-hearing-impairment/</span></a></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">Mobility: <a href="http://www.benchmarkemail.com/c/l?u=3C1C20&e=FD4C2&c=D9E6&t=0&l=286CEF5&email=kTAdg%2FCd3oIphrSCku%2ByOMtQO6gcUxkL" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.disabilityliving.ca/people-with-disabilities-mobility-disability-communication/</span></a></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">Speech: <a href="http://www.benchmarkemail.com/c/l?u=3C1C21&e=FD4C2&c=D9E6&t=0&l=286CEF5&email=kTAdg%2FCd3oIphrSCku%2ByOMtQO6gcUxkL" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.disabilityliving.ca/people-with-disabilities-speech-disability-etiquette/</span></a></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">Vision: <a href="http://www.benchmarkemail.com/c/l?u=3C1C22&e=FD4C2&c=D9E6&t=0&l=286CEF5&email=kTAdg%2FCd3oIphrSCku%2ByOMtQO6gcUxkL" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.disabilityliving.ca/people-with-disabilities-communicating-with-vision-disability/</span></a></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">Depression: <a href="http://www.benchmarkemail.com/c/l?u=3C1C23&e=FD4C2&c=D9E6&t=0&l=286CEF5&email=kTAdg%2FCd3oIphrSCku%2ByOMtQO6gcUxkL" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.disabilityliving.ca/people-with-disabilities-talk-to-someone-with-drepression/</span></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-18007007944027734352011-02-13T14:04:00.000-08:002011-10-27T09:12:37.797-07:00Time OUT!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTtg2KWvdD0Q9XXK8wl1nRnyajBRCjaLmIkzv0ePaLSoF25TSU-bxPCJ6OqsSTBGmsNEZBaLaQMpyQs9NZVe_sOzuveYR9fNLLpQYmn7VnhgrdN00_xg9NgzhzTVo4e2xLMBBW_iXthXw/s1600/timeout.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTtg2KWvdD0Q9XXK8wl1nRnyajBRCjaLmIkzv0ePaLSoF25TSU-bxPCJ6OqsSTBGmsNEZBaLaQMpyQs9NZVe_sOzuveYR9fNLLpQYmn7VnhgrdN00_xg9NgzhzTVo4e2xLMBBW_iXthXw/s320/timeout.gif" width="224" /></a></div>Hi everyone;<br />
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If you want more information on what your looking for, read the most up to date blog post!<br />
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Thanks to the fans, and the supporters,<br />
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All the best!<br />
<br />
Chris<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhChBNd1QyCcu3kmvwCqen_znKTwpFp5iyYXO8MiTmjWSawyMciMKP-RGc-cudqsdlh2Vyo-yiWTqaKsRUwdYCdE989wUlH9L3IxfetISPorVOVoF4GbrTYX0vVAFxTYLZGwDk4gCsuMHw/s1600/timeout.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhChBNd1QyCcu3kmvwCqen_znKTwpFp5iyYXO8MiTmjWSawyMciMKP-RGc-cudqsdlh2Vyo-yiWTqaKsRUwdYCdE989wUlH9L3IxfetISPorVOVoF4GbrTYX0vVAFxTYLZGwDk4gCsuMHw/s320/timeout.gif" width="224" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-89937874357228153502011-01-02T16:24:00.000-08:002011-01-02T16:29:26.360-08:00What Next?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2m5-YTO25n0ZeO2pmOtAyogwPUmhex4e8nq0gx0SFaU82RJXgQnyb_6A3XlmA-USvW6Zqe9agoyAkmfHybA96RwxsDnaQsRlMQH1VEKmxdXs3WYgZymrojiA_GGBsncuGC04G9E5ydxk/s1600/secondlife_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2m5-YTO25n0ZeO2pmOtAyogwPUmhex4e8nq0gx0SFaU82RJXgQnyb_6A3XlmA-USvW6Zqe9agoyAkmfHybA96RwxsDnaQsRlMQH1VEKmxdXs3WYgZymrojiA_GGBsncuGC04G9E5ydxk/s320/secondlife_1.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>Well, I know I need to write on here more often than I do but life sometimes gets in my way. <br />
<br />
Another year has past and to be frank about it I wish some parts had never come.<br />
<br />
I had a great amount of highs and lows....<br />
<br />
Biggest high- birth of my daughter Arowyn.<br />
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Biggest low - Death of my Mother<br />
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What else can you say, life is an ever change of expectations with little or no warning.<br />
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I will write more often this year, what about who knows.<br />
<br />
By the way, I guess I will make it offical. I have returned to sport! I will be curling once again but have no real idea were it will lead me. I have an opportuntiy to grow in my sport and I want to take it. So I will be paly with the best again.<br />
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More to follow later....my life is calling.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-67662159232497887202010-10-11T22:22:00.000-07:002010-10-11T22:25:15.065-07:00Past, Present, Future??????<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2zBycrQ04eG9h_Yfxlvf-6M6lyqnsfkQruAWowA9SVzyGknnp_L0XmnAH5Ll4G1zVzq6E2mEKxfUIkcliUVI-zFWDGj1P1T9YqH2cRzgSDUQn9mSE-wpDHum-MeOdZoA_BgHFJ3MDf48/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2zBycrQ04eG9h_Yfxlvf-6M6lyqnsfkQruAWowA9SVzyGknnp_L0XmnAH5Ll4G1zVzq6E2mEKxfUIkcliUVI-zFWDGj1P1T9YqH2cRzgSDUQn9mSE-wpDHum-MeOdZoA_BgHFJ3MDf48/s200/images.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal">What if you could change one thing about your past, present or future? Would you?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I got asked that question the other day; and you know what; my answer is: <b><u>I don't know</u></b>.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Let's look at it for a moment.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">If I change one thing about my past would I be where I am today, NO. If I was abled-bodied would I have taken up sports, would I have won gold, most likely not. Would I have had my children, met my wife, work where I work; all answers point to no.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Change my past, I think not. I would have never got to where I am. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Change my present; another good question. Are there thing I would like to change; YES. Everyone has that answer but truly what could I change. I would, once again, not be who I am today. So the answer again, NO.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Now let's talk about the future. I have no idea of who I am going be in the future or what it will bring. If I had that answer, I can tell you I would be the richest man in the world. But I already have a rich life. Filled with Love for and of my children, my wife and my friends. So I have everything I wanted for the future. What tomorrow brings, well I have no control anyways. So I try not to think about it to much.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">What I can tell you is this....if you can reflect on your past and build a better present from it then you future will be bright.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">If you leave your past in the past, embrace the opportunities given you present then again your future will be bright.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I am where I am today because of my past. I am here in the present because of and for a reason; be I know what it is or not. My future will present itself in time so embrace today.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I ask forgiveness for my sins of the past, I pray I don't make the same mistakes in the present and I hope future those whom claim they know me truly learn who I am.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Would I change anything in my past , present or future? NO, plain and simple. I will just try and be better for you, for my family and for myself. Learn about me and leave the past in the past</div><div class="MsoNormal">.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Who knows, you might like who I am.....Would you change anything. TRULY!</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-51523502608796156602010-10-03T12:56:00.000-07:002010-10-04T09:35:06.226-07:00Waiting on the sidelines....out in the pasture<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN5ImHqJsU5VbOpMJV5A7DfW2sYFBTLZ5Hyhvq1naSkZWCiabOiIrBGg-DVMkfxe4QmeHbQD88jHrc_1eczYyk6oDwkmNeEgEj_I3sEWKU-oRwiJBWe-hdvT2IjvUuUE4cWL_OQxT5Dqo/s1600/sidelines+horse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN5ImHqJsU5VbOpMJV5A7DfW2sYFBTLZ5Hyhvq1naSkZWCiabOiIrBGg-DVMkfxe4QmeHbQD88jHrc_1eczYyk6oDwkmNeEgEj_I3sEWKU-oRwiJBWe-hdvT2IjvUuUE4cWL_OQxT5Dqo/s320/sidelines+horse.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">I know it has been a while but a lot in my life has been going on.</div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal">Work has been crazy, the baby is growing up to fast and oh yea, I was inducted into the London, Ontario Sports Hall of Fame.</div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Funny though.. If life is about choices then why do we ultimately get to make very few?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In today's world we are faced with many choice; good and bad. Ones which will lead us down the road to a better future or a darker one. Right?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Why when you sit back and really look at does it seems most of the time that we, as a person never really make the choice. No, I am not talking about what to have for dinner or what to wear more over I am talk about the choice which we can never control.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I threw a curling stone yesterday for the first time in what has to be almost 3 years now. I must say I did very well, it was kind of like riding a bike once I was done cursing at the ice and stones. I retired from curling as a member of the national team over 4 years and I find still today I have to live out my past. What more is that no one today will take me for who I am. Allot in my life has change and trying to outlive what people think they know about me has been; what seems impossible. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">My life in the past was full of passion which was greatly outlive by my lack of patience. I was a true competitor and to be honest with myself more than anything a ASSH*(E about it. I was very good at most sports I did or tried. I have won Gold at eh highest level you could ever achieve; the Olympics or in my case the Paralympics. The months after each time I gained success something in me thought I was better than I was, I had control and I could do whatever I wanted, both in sports or in life. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Than my life changed....not sure when but it did change and change hard. I think it changed just before I moved to Newfoundland. I had lost everything. My sports, my job, my wife at the time, my family and even my children. I had started to recover slowly. I found a new love, my current wife. I made a means with my children the best I could, found a new job, I even got back into sport heavy again, curling Hockey , BBALL, etc. . Then I lost a great part of it again after I made a choice in a way. I nearly died on the day of the accident and nobody really knows that until I placed in here in print. I was in the back woods of Newfoundland and had an ATV accident. Like a fool I was alone. The 800 pound bike rolled on top of me and I was pinned. No cell phone coverage, late in the day, cold, everything that you would like to watch in a good survival drama show. After hours under the bike; it hit me... It is not my choice to make here today to die. I have a wife, children, a few friends who the hell am I to make a choice for them. I am not sure how but I got that bike off me, crawl a few hundred feet with my breaks, blood and pain to get cell phone coverage and rescue. That day I said I would try and make amends.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">But that choice is not up to me, I gave that right way. For those of you reading this please , please understand the following. I am not who I was, I never will be again. I am sorry and I am here should you ever want to believe in me again. A song I listen to at least once a day says this....</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Nobody knows but me, That I sometimes cry<br />
If I could pretend that I'm asleep, When my tears start to fall<br />
I peek out from behind these walls, I think nobody knows<br />
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Nobody likes to lose their inner voice, The one I used to hear before my life<br />
Made a choice, But I think nobody knows<br />
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Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown, And I've lost my way back home<br />
I think nobody knows<br />
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It's win or lose not how you play the game, <b>And the road to darkness has a way</b><br />
Of always knowing my name, But I think nobody knows<br />
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Tomorrow I'll be there my friend, I'll wake up and start all over again</div><div class="MsoNormal">When everybody else is gone, Nobody knows but me what I have lost.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"> So in the end, never let your passion outweigh your patience! EVER!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Use you gifts in a quiet fashion including your voice.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And never try and out run your past for it will always control you future.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Until next time....(hopefully)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Waiting on the sidelines<span id="goog_1150453083"></span><span id="goog_1150453084"></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-841826366610513822010-07-03T12:59:00.000-07:002010-07-03T12:59:27.512-07:00I hate doing math...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix9i45RwPnl0OkTyy3jqAZ7MGRiGxKMLwUh0CfsMtdn-D7bMuaG9I1Q8_RzhUDUsTG7jUylDa0ycwz7BcbdFwBaCUI6faCdWO_j04qcD61alRxpuGVbxST5G1DfoXtOUDbEJ3Z4CtPxF0/s1600/14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix9i45RwPnl0OkTyy3jqAZ7MGRiGxKMLwUh0CfsMtdn-D7bMuaG9I1Q8_RzhUDUsTG7jUylDa0ycwz7BcbdFwBaCUI6faCdWO_j04qcD61alRxpuGVbxST5G1DfoXtOUDbEJ3Z4CtPxF0/s320/14.jpg" /></a></div>So I was sitting in the car the other day and my wife was in there with me, who I love an adore. We were talking about age differences, now not that it really matters but there is an age difference between my wife and I of 14 years.<br />
<br />
So we started talking about when she was born, I was 14 and had been racing for a number of years and then we started doing some really odd math. So I have a son named Kyle who is 14, which is really odd math considering there is exactly 14 years difference between my wife and I. So then we did some other math my wife is 26 and my oldest son is 14 which equals 40 which oddly enough is exactly how old I am this year.<br />
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Are you creeped out yet???? because it gets better.<br />
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So I have two other sons, Shane who is 8, and Tj who is currently 5 soon to be 6. So On Aug 12th when Tj turns 6 (happy early birthday son) The combined age of Shane and Tj will be exactly 14, the same age as my oldest son.<br />
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Now it gets a little weirder and no I am not Jim Carey in the movie Numbers but..... There is exactly 14 years age difference between my oldest son and my daughter. There is 14 years ago combined with Shane and Tj, there is 14 years difference between my wife and me.... creepy. The number 14 keeps popping up this year. <br />
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So oddly enough for the remainder of the year, after Aug 12th when Tj turns 6, I think I will buy lotto tickets, but they all have to have a 14 on it. I have to buy size 14 in everything, I have to move to 14th street in number 14 house. I will say this that if I run into one 14 with bad news I am in trouble. <br />
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14, isn't that when all the trouble begins?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-38297635341399781822010-06-28T17:13:00.000-07:002010-06-28T17:39:39.298-07:00I am blessed!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPYoWztXmi_PcOkCIerQrRmdoKlRANrkDIiFY568RPK7ao_vpLbId3jr_SiovE7-f1DzH4pv5ZcLn14x8jT4LetOr2RIO83_ZpMwEUOFgzMnORhMQG7JU7i2Ho10rG34XFpP2_sSVpBGU/s1600/31518_397777734951_514944951_4344317_498536_n.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPYoWztXmi_PcOkCIerQrRmdoKlRANrkDIiFY568RPK7ao_vpLbId3jr_SiovE7-f1DzH4pv5ZcLn14x8jT4LetOr2RIO83_ZpMwEUOFgzMnORhMQG7JU7i2Ho10rG34XFpP2_sSVpBGU/s320/31518_397777734951_514944951_4344317_498536_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487982415694846034" /></a><br />So what if I didn’t win the million….well it would have been nice but I have learned and quickly at that, that life is not about money. I look around and I figure I have every basic thing I need, food, shelter, car, JOB, etc. <br /><br /><strong>I need to be grateful not wishful.</strong><br /><br />Sure, I did what most people did, the what if’s, the I would do if I won and Yes I even prayed a little asking for help but the I thought. My life is so totally planned out already that if I ever get a huge sum of money it is going to happen later or tomorrow or who knows.<br /><br /><strong>I am blessed already, far more than some people ever will be. </strong><br /><br />I have had a great life (a couple of rough spots but whose life doesn’t have those) <br /><br />I have had great parents who gave me more than they could ever afford and I mean that in more ways than just money wise. Mom gave me hope, determination, love of drama, music, smiles, love and most of all LIFE!!! Dad gave me desire, grit, overcoming the odds, strength, pride, compassion, smiles, love and LIFE! <br /><br />They gave me much more but these are the highlights. I have had great parents!<br /><br />As for my siblings, AL, Phil, Kelly and Tracey they have each given different things, they are my siblings and as much as we are apart, push come to shove we are there for each other, as we were when mom died. The saddest thing is we never came together when she was alive.<br /><br />As for now, my wife, Morgan is the greatest; she gives more to me than anyone ever could. She has saved my life and made me believe in hope again, she is the mother of my children and most of all she has this LOVE for me which is unbounded.<br />My children are great, all of them…Arowyn, Shane, TJ, and Kyle who live with my and Chantelle and Pam who do not. They each love me and I am more proud of them then any one parent should be allowed to be! All of them are the greatest blessing! The love they extended is boundless.<br /><br />I have represented my country, more times than I can remember, worn Canada on my back and won Gold countless times. I have seen the world more than anyone could hope for. I have been on 5 of 6 continents.<br /><br />I have great friends, great family, and great hope that half way though I still have more to give!!!<br /><br />Second half coach, put me in , I am ready to go!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-16466662075817173832010-06-08T14:06:00.000-07:002010-06-08T14:27:03.083-07:00Aftermath<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpB_6GAjj6mOE28zWPgI6XtlaGBX-0n1I99Zhv2Umpk_lNm_g6CcCB5do2mg-K5CMzJhoRBcBuaUSb-F_Prbpd8PrFNDnymRXiL0c6QLvYheN0UISBIm0HzSNdeOlYFj7OIIpJBP8HYzo/s1600/life-after-death.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpB_6GAjj6mOE28zWPgI6XtlaGBX-0n1I99Zhv2Umpk_lNm_g6CcCB5do2mg-K5CMzJhoRBcBuaUSb-F_Prbpd8PrFNDnymRXiL0c6QLvYheN0UISBIm0HzSNdeOlYFj7OIIpJBP8HYzo/s320/life-after-death.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480512622684775442" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />I have been writing and redeveloping my life as of late. I have a couple of pure foundations right now...my wife Morgan (I cannot thank her enough), my kids, all of them. They bring me love, laughs and of course challenges’, but I tell them every chance I get, "I LOVE YOU, you know" and how proud they make me. <br /><br />I have a few true friends who have worked hard to be supportive and re learn who I am and I thank them every chance I get as well. As you all know; I lost my mother in April and she was a huge foundation to me (and my family). Since then I have reflected and searched for reasons to allot of questions.<br /><br />Why did she have to leave us? What do I do know? and many more. <br /><br />I turn myself inside out to find the answers.....<br /><br />I listen to allot of music and I have found 2 songs which I have not only helped but truly define who I am.<br /><br />Nobodys Knows by Pink. This song above all others defines me.<br /><br />And; Aftermath... a new song most people do not know. I listened to it by accident and its' words touched me. These words....<br /><br /><br />Have you lost your way?<br />Livin' in the shadow of the message that you made<br />And so it goes<br />Everything inside your circle starts to overflow<br />Take a step before you leap<br />Into the colours that you seek<br />You give back what you give away<br />So don't look back on yesterday<br /><br />Wanna scream out<br />No more hiding<br />Don't be afraid of what's inside<br />Gonna tell ya you'll be alright<br />In the Aftermath<br />Anytime anybody pulls you down<br />Anytime anybody says you're not allowed<br />Just remember you are not alone<br />In the Aftermath<br /><br />You feel the weight<br />Of lies and contradictions that you live with every day<br />It's not too late<br />Think of what could be if you rewrite the role you play<br />Take a step before you leap<br />Into the colours that you seek<br />You give back what you give away<br />So don't look back on yesterday<br /><br />Before you break you have to change your own mind<br />Take a trip and fall into the pit<br />Tell a stranger that their view is full<br />So all you feel is love, love<br />All you feel is love, love<br /><br />Wanna scream out<br />No more hiding<br />Don't be afraid of what's inside<br />Wanna tell you you'll be alright<br />In the Aftermath<br /><br />These words are what have help find new meaning to which I am...<br /><br />Stay tuned because I am still trying to make the picture a little clearer...<br /><br />By the way, did I tell you I was going to be a Grandpa.....Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-7953185957754382912010-06-04T12:35:00.000-07:002010-06-04T12:48:23.914-07:00Fear not the game, I see clearly.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisG9A8mXZm4k8L2PZLWRNgThYhjZ-a3aWYM73ku5imlCYKuD5Fbi0waox0EYhdjQkYa8QWBGeePmoE_U_ymtFbw0gVbf2-4d2KXJ4o-eaVwIULO-m4COUfa1P7nKoF2UrEhZtWvQlBCII/s1600/grim_reaper.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 293px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisG9A8mXZm4k8L2PZLWRNgThYhjZ-a3aWYM73ku5imlCYKuD5Fbi0waox0EYhdjQkYa8QWBGeePmoE_U_ymtFbw0gVbf2-4d2KXJ4o-eaVwIULO-m4COUfa1P7nKoF2UrEhZtWvQlBCII/s320/grim_reaper.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5479004921714098962" /></a><br />I am terribly afraid of death and failure right now .With the death of my mother in April and the reflection of how much responsibility I have with my wife and children I am scared as hell. I use to be a rebel (so to say), take life to the edge; ATV, scuba dive and even parachute.<br /><br />About a couple of years ago I had a major accident in a fall from an ATV in the back woods of Newfoundland and this time of isolation was as close to a near death and failure experience (NDFE) as I ever want to come.<br /><br /> Each person's NDFE testimony is their own personal experience of a reality that is far more dynamic than physical reality. The reasons why near-death and failure experiences are so different from each other are the same reasons why experiences in this world are different. <br /><br />The question as it exists today is whether the NDFE is an actual afterlife experience or dying brains mass hallucinating tunnels, light, and being told it isn't time yet. Looking at this from a scientific view, which is somewhat limiting, the only conclusion is that there is no scientific evidence that NDFEs are actual afterlife experiences. Perhaps it is impossible to obtain scientific proof short of someone bringing back from a NDFE the sandal of Jesus. <br />Even if researchers scientifically confirm that people are actually seeing and hearing things far from their physical bodies, this only proves, in my opinion, that conscious awareness can expand from the body to witness remote events. It is not evidence that consciousness can survive death and failure. And even if doctors began performing "flatline experiments" like in the movie "Flatliners) and scientifically verify that the experience was conscious while brain dead and observed events far from their body, I still don't think this will be enough to call it "scientific proof" of an afterlife. <br /><br />Although there may never be evidence that satisfies the mind, I believe very strong evidence will be discovered that will convince most people that consciousness survives bodily death and failure.<br /><br />This aside, the circumstantial evidence in favor of survival after death and failure is so overwhelming that the proverbial ball is really in the skeptic's court. We don't have to explain anything. Millions of people having NDFEs can't be all wrong. It is the skeptics who must come up with proof that it is only a brain thing. So far, all the skeptics' arguments do not fit the scientific facts. <br />Personally, I am convinced that our consciousness survives bodily death and failure. This is my belief which is based on a mountain of circumstantial evidence. Not much faith is required when the circumstantial evidence is there. NDFErs don't need any scientific or circumstantial evidence to believe in an afterlife because they actually experienced it<br /><br /><br />As for the fear of death and failure, I guess it is completely natural and valuable to have because it is part of our "fight or flight" mechanism that has evolved over millions of years to help humans to be at the top of the food chain and so is the fear of failure. However, there is an affliction called "death and failure anxiety" and “failure anxiety” that some people have that can interfere with their life. Of course, everyone is tremendously afraid of pain and suffering. <br />But even philosophically, having an unnatural fear of death and failure is not rational. This is because there are only 2 options when it comes to death and failure and both of them are good. <br /><br />Option (1) - There is no survival after death and failure.<br /><br />If this option is true, then at best you will have a NDFE that ultimately results in oblivion - the end of everything. And is this option so bad? Suppose at death and failure there is no NDFE but absolute oblivion. Then, you won't be around to fear it. It would be the "blessed end of everything." This option only means that there is nothing gained after death and failure. It is irrational, I think, to be sorrowful about something we were not given, in this case life after death and failure. I think of life after death and failure as being "the icing on the cake". We should probably live our lives if we were going to die tomorrow anyway. And if it is the blessed end of everything, then we won't be around to think about it. It is just that there is nothing gained and nothing lost. <br /><br />Option (2) - There is survival after death and failure.<br /><br />If there is survival after death and failure, then we can have our cake and eat it too. If there is survival, the question is whether life after death and failure will be heavenly or hellish. I am convinced that the same principle found in life also applies to the afterlife. Life is what you make it. We can kill someone and end up in prison. Or we can do good things and live contently. I believe this principle applies to heaven and hell. So, if any fear is justifiable, it would be the fear of going to hell. But, if you are not a criminal why worry about it? It is not the just who fears the law.<br /><br />This means that death and failure is a "win/win" situation. Either option is a winner. Granted, the option of survival after death and failure would be preferred. So, by this formula, there is no rational reason to fear death and failure.<br /><br />Concerning the need to have "faith," faith implies the possibility of doubt and a state of doubt can be miserable. Knowledge implies certainty. And when it comes to NDFEs, it is based on solid knowledge and facts rather than faith. If a million astronauts go to Mars and say that there's Martians living there, I would be inclined to believe them. If a million people experience death and failure and then say there's life after death and failure, I would be inclined to believe them just the same.<br /><br />This said, it is still a good idea to keep an open mind on this and remain a true skeptic (holding to the possibility that there isn't life after death and failure). <br />For this reason, one can make the case that the only thing that is really important is loving others, loving life, and loving everything. Faith and knowledge can change, but love is worth keeping and cultivating. Even the Bible says that love is greater than faith. Having faith in religious dogma, instead of having a healthy skepticism, can lead to disaster, in my opinion. <br /><br />My own religious experience has been one of constant evolution. I change my mind all the time. One moment God and I discuss how pissed he is at me and the rest of the time is me asking for forgiveness, hoping he is listening. The only thing that I have constant is love. <br /><br />Be it the love of my wife, Morgan who always finds a way to help me though my tough times.<br /><br />The love of my children regardless of how frustrating children can make me.<br /><br />The love of my father, who never says it but I know means it.<br /><br />The love of my mother, in this life or the next. Who watches <br /><br />The love of my family, who I miss daily and long to be closer and waits for all of us to be together again (but only in the right time too).<br /><br />The love of my friends regardless of the amount of contact.<br /><br />In conclusion, here are some words of wisdom concerning the fear of death and failure …<br /><br />Fear not the game, I see clearly.<br /><br />I will not let fear control me anymore, I see a path (be it unknown) I will follow it where ever it takes me and I hope I make all the right turns in the bends with my loved ones right behind me (good or bad)!<br /><br />On another note......I will have a major annoucement next post!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-35156436151247759852010-06-01T14:38:00.001-07:002010-06-01T14:48:23.998-07:00Why Dream?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHBAbCNrHTKdChuKxUDYhLQK1gnCrQfsCwJQilEwQRewxXg9_lak8OqfNTJfZ8uVPgvzWXXPIX_M8gHgX4PI5EZSGhKh-RGs8YonVF5yehmQtBiKSxWYR_8yGR8EMJ3CJy1pLv7drwCTg/s1600/angelandlamb.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 243px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHBAbCNrHTKdChuKxUDYhLQK1gnCrQfsCwJQilEwQRewxXg9_lak8OqfNTJfZ8uVPgvzWXXPIX_M8gHgX4PI5EZSGhKh-RGs8YonVF5yehmQtBiKSxWYR_8yGR8EMJ3CJy1pLv7drwCTg/s320/angelandlamb.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5477925070172011442" /></a><br /><br />For most of us we sit and dream- Dream of a better life, more money, etc. , etc.<br /><br />But Why?<br /><br />Why do we dream, what is a dream? Can we change the past, present or future by dreaming? <br /><br />NO!<br /><br />I was looking back at my last couple of blogs and I began to dream about what I could have or more over should have done and then I started to think about what I could do if I had just done this or just done that. None of which I can change now. Hell, I am not sure if I can even change it in the future. All I can do is dream, right!<br /><br />WRONG!<br /><br />Sure there are things I am not in control of, like winning the lottery (I gave up on that dream!) But I can make a difference today even a small change can reflect on things in a big way. Dreaming by the text book is our brain making sense of things or helping us figure things out. Sometimes be it in much screwed up ways, mind you but it really us figuring stuff out. <br /><br />But what if we changed without dreaming??? A man came over to my car yesterday and ask me this “I am hungry, do you have anything to eat?” Naturally; I was in a hurry and said no, he then went up to my son; who had been returning the shopping cart and asked the same thing. Scared as hell, he said no. But I got to thinking here, why did I say that and do what I did. Afterwards I felt like shit because of what I did. I had just gone grocery shopping and had tons of food in the truck but I said NO. WHY? Why did I dash that man’s DREAM of a meal. Did I know him, no? Did I really know if he was hungry, no? I was in a hurry, uncomfortable and frankly had just done that same thing everyone else does in that situation for the most part. <br /><br />SAID NO! Why?<br /><br />I went back and looked for him with no luck and I feel really guilty about what I have done. I spoke with my son about it and he said, I should carry something with me, just in case. I do that now, and will freely give it out the next time. I will not dash a dream again.<br /><br />I dream about my mother and wanting her back…..something I will never get, it is impossible. I dream about her sitting in heaven looking down at me and that has changed me. Things I may have done in the past with no thought, I wonder if see would approve since she is watching me. I find myself talking to my new born asking her if grandma came to visit and each and every time she smiles. I pray this is her answering YES, I saw her today and she held me.<br /><br />We can dream, yes and we should but we need to remember perspective. I was told once perspective is everything; don’t let it cloud your path. Dream and dream big but remember perspective because trust me you cannot control your dreams and nor should we.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-29247540411170273662010-05-30T09:56:00.000-07:002010-05-30T10:32:35.146-07:00How does one celebrate???<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2VnOcvxeqiGVnPKzHGMJiC_PWf7eIq3ZgiCoaRtjqo7BlX54uQJdOZuKHlv9zvbSl2_0lDvjg4CRLbNHmYVLz51LIdphFRAEzLY2pxHRTgv-AdU1AWulNJI1Kd6RZB_DmuMWY937Nik0/s1600/DSCF7092.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2VnOcvxeqiGVnPKzHGMJiC_PWf7eIq3ZgiCoaRtjqo7BlX54uQJdOZuKHlv9zvbSl2_0lDvjg4CRLbNHmYVLz51LIdphFRAEzLY2pxHRTgv-AdU1AWulNJI1Kd6RZB_DmuMWY937Nik0/s320/DSCF7092.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5477116951933002210" /></a><br />I use a phrase often...In life we all get faced with challenges, how one deals with those challenges is what makes each of us different and ultimately strong, while defining the complexity of who we are in reality.<br /><br />Over the last month, since my mother's passing this is more true than ever before. My life has been rot with grief and at the same time pure moments which should be; no must be celebrated. Much like today, May 30. The day my father was born 73 years ago. <br /><br />How difficult is it to celebrate these moments of what should be victory, a birthday or the moment your new born daughter sits up for the first time or the look of love from your wife who so desperately wants to help you but struggles not only with the how but her own grief. Thank you Morgan and I am sorry.<br /><br />I am not a great person but I try. I try to be a good man who wants to provide not only for my family directly but indirectly. I feel I am a giving man even at times when I cannot afford to be and I don't mean money but emotion.<br /><br />The death of someone close to us is one of life's most stressful events. We fear loss of companionship and the changes it will bring to our lives. It takes time to heal and each of us responds differently. We may need help to cope with the changes in our lives. But in the end, coping effectively with bereavement is vital to our mental health. <br /><br />Mourning and the complex stages of the grieving process are necessary. Even though the present is felt to be intolerably painful, it is healthy and normal for a bereaved person to experience intense emotions and swift mood changes. These are natural reactions to loss so the text books say.<br /><br />"It takes time to heal." I truly believe this a myth. I think my brother stated it the best (Kelly)- "time will make this, not good, but better" <br /><br />More over it most certainly will not heal. We will only learn to cope. Any period of grieving depends upon the situation and varies greatly from person to person. <br />Grieving is not a weakness; it is a necessity. Refusing to grieve is not courageous it is harmful . <br /><br />So what or how do we celebrate what should be.....WE MUST! For that person and those around us.<br /><br />Celebrate each moment, each birthday, each day, each second for it is when those moments are not available to us that we wish we had...DON"T let those moments pass.<br />For those who I have wronged, I am sorry...I was wrong. Very wrong. I do not ask for forgiveness because that is impossible but I do ask you for understanding for I am not who I was but I am changed; vastly changed.<br /><br />And for those who do and can forgive....I am always hear for you to celebrate those days, those minutes and those seconds which should be.<br /><br />I miss you Mom and wish the best I can for you this day Dad. For my friends and those who can forgive....THANK YOU!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814080065275430716.post-26566518350010116752010-05-11T15:59:00.000-07:002010-05-11T18:18:21.878-07:00I Love you, you know! Eleanor Francis Daw<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD62loTijzAfllEfE6-hcoxmCJJy1c3obD2rCF0thXhGgAhL6hyphenhyphenXcgC59KUfiBzkmJg-_PMds7Heov9B60nYglHiyx-MZl7zQslm_k9Qu6b94M3JNbuB3J6OFyfuJHSI788vfqEwS6_bQ/s1600/DSCF1016.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD62loTijzAfllEfE6-hcoxmCJJy1c3obD2rCF0thXhGgAhL6hyphenhyphenXcgC59KUfiBzkmJg-_PMds7Heov9B60nYglHiyx-MZl7zQslm_k9Qu6b94M3JNbuB3J6OFyfuJHSI788vfqEwS6_bQ/s320/DSCF1016.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5470156144187914706" /></a><br /><br /><br />I know it has been awhile since I wrote on here and the fact is; a blog is very labour rot. Time and energy, who knows who reads it, or even cares. Life is full of perspective.<br /><br />One day however you will wake to find that world changed forever...like I did on April 29, 2010. The day I learned, I would never hear the voice which had been there so many times in the pass. The day I would come to learn what a moment in time was all about...the day my mom passed.<br /><br />My mom was born on November 15, 1942 and ever since then has been changing lives. She changed the life of my Grandparents and then that of my father Ivan. Then of my brothers and sisters. I am proud to say I have 3 brothers and 1 sister. Alan, Phillip, Kelly and my Sister Tracey. Proud to call them my family as my mom was proud to call them her children. My mom changed all our life's both as children and as adults. She no matter what was always there. Rain or shine nor matter what we said good or bad she was mom. No matter the distance between us, No matter how bad we screwed things up she would always lean in and tell you "I love you, you know" something I miss each time I pass a phone. <br /><br />My mom loved her children and watches each of us now waiting for the day we can hold her in our arms again, the day she can lean in and tell us "I love you, you know"<br /><br />She not only loved her children but was a proud grandmother to the countless Daw clan of grand children. All her grand children. She loved my newest one; Arowyn; sadly; one she never got to hold, or tell her she loved her in person. My mom did get to see her and share a smile and a laugh over Skype. I know she loves her and watches her....her Tulip. <br /><br />You see my mom never really was that fond of Arowyns name and joked she was going to call her Tulip. A name which has so much more meaning now.<br /><br />The day you never want to come is the day you can never hear a voice, or see someone again. We always say...we have time....see you soon but I am hear to tell you you don't.<br /><br />Take the time; each time to tell the people you care about you love them, to hold them, to embrace them because death will come if you like it or not. There will not be that moment you hoped for that moment of being able to lean in and say.....<br /><br />I love you, you know!<br /><br />So to all of you to whom I care for and love, I am reaching for each of you now giving you a hug and letting you know this.<br /><br />THANK YOU for giving me the honour of being in your life, I love you.<br /><br />To my family regardless of the distance... I Love YOU!<br /><br />and MOM...thank you for allowing me to be you son, for guiding me, holding me, protecting me and letting me learn who you are.<br /><br />I LOVE YOU, YOU KNOW!!!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5