WWW.CHRISDAW.CA

Off to the next thing

2012-01-07T11:54:00.000-08:00

Well, much to my surprise and that of the world Eric Eales over at wheelchaircurling.com has stopped posting to his blog. This has left a major gap of information for the world of wheelchair curlers.

On the advice of a few supporting friends I have decided to take up the task of trying to follow in the shoes or wheels of someone who did provide a great service to the sport.

I am going to try but not sure if I can really do what Eric did for so many years, At times Eric was questioned regarding his blog and even a few comments but I do believe his passion for the sport was really there.

So, I will take up the task and that means that to a degree this personal blog may suffer. I will try to blog on here when something important arises or I wish to express a personal view. One of the thing I promised myself not to do is express personal opinion over at wheelchaircurler blog 2

So please lend a hand, make a comment and maybe even show your support.

Check the blog out at: http://wheelchaircurler.blogspot.com/

Until the next personal happens......signing off for a few on this site!

Chris

A christmas gift for some....the offical annoucement!

2011-12-22T09:45:00.000-08:00

We after a number of years and questions; I guess I better make it official. After 30 years in the Paralympic movement I am retiring from international competition and competition as a whole.

I think I have had a good run; 5 official different sports for Canada, athletics, basketball, wheelchair rugby, marathon and curling; with a mention to sit volleyball as well. I attended multi Paralympic games with Australia and Turin being the most memorable for me. I am one of the few to have had the chance to represent Canada at both summer and winter paralympic games.

Before I offically leave, I would like to make one statement about my curling career.

I never quit!

I asked for a leave of absence, I have just never really made it back up to that level but I never quit. I had a bunch of personal things going on at the time and it was best for the program I step aside for a time. With that and the success of Jim (a friend of mine, and proud to say that) there was never a need to go back but please remember I never quit.

I cannot really remember how many medals I have one but if one had to guess and my son did this for me ;the total is 600+. I attended 61 World championships and 120 National Championship events. I have had a wonderful career and made some great friends along the way, some which have lasted and will last a life time. I have been on 5 of the 6 continents and god only knows how many countries but Scotland, England, Australia and Japan where the best times I ever had.

There will be no media press conference and honestly I don’t think anyone will really care. I would have liked to continue but I don’t think the opportunity will present itself so now is the time. I will focus on my family which gave so much over the years and focus on career.

I hope I made a difference, I hope I represented everyone including Canada at a level which would be considered great! Thank you everyone for the opportunity. See you somewhere down the road.

Merry Christmas to All and to all a good night....

2011-12-15T10:50:00.000-08:00

In a year defined by change more than any other I just want to say this.

Never let your passion out run patience.

Remember these words and you will understand struggle and love more than ever.

I have no idea what the next year will bring but I do hope for just a few things.

1. Opportunity - as a whole. In life and in understanding

2. Understanding - I really want people to understand who I was is not who I am. Given a chance I can show you then change, but I need the chance.

3. Chance - I need a chance or two. I just need the chance to succeed again. In all aspects; in life, love, sports, my children and the list goes on.

I have tried and tried again to get across the line and move on. I don't know if I will return to sports or not. At 42 I would like to think I am not done yet but I need a chance.

Just one more.

But enough about my wants....

Merry Christmas to all and a BIG thank you as well. I feel like I have a huge family walking me though these times and I cannot express what the impact of your support and messages mean.

Thank you for believing in me those that do and those which are speculative........please just believe.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New year to all of you!

ARGH!

2011-12-09T10:41:00.000-08:00

So it has been 3 months on the job hunt and what can I say other than; I am learning the word...FRUSTRATING!

I have a comprehensive resume which is packed with education, and experience.

I have submitted a ton of resumes and had a number of interviews. All to no solid offers. I have been told I came second or the latest one is; "no, we don't want to offer you the job but we do want to know what you do so... can we give you an interm postition so you can teach the guy we gave the job to what you know."

I have no idea what to do at this point. I have changed my resume, changed my cover letter, touched base with everyone I know to ask for them for a lead but no luck.

I guess the words...stay tuned is all I can say.

“In the dark it is always darkest before the dawn.”

2011-12-03T12:04:00.000-08:00

The last few months have been a time of change for me. I have had a lot of time to reflect on what was,; what is but not so much on what will or could be. It has been a dark time for me.

“In the dark it is always darkest before the dawn.” This is a quote or line I heard some where once. I hope this has truth to it.

Right now not only for me but for many the hour is dark. I know it is dark for some/many. So many people are hurting right now. So many people are struggling to find inspiration , faith, even hope that tomorrow the dawn breaks and life turns the corner. Trust me I understand now more than ever what this means.

The last few weeks have been very difficult for me and my family. Not a lot of good news. Morgan has had a great amount of good occur for her and maybe that is what I need to reflect on. Maybe it is her time right now and mine is to support her efforts as she moves along. Much like she has done so many times in the past for me. I have never been as ideal as I am right now, in such a search for reason.

I did have a little more ray of dawn shine today. My brother Phil came over today. I have not really spoken much to him in the last little bit. He surprised me by coming over to bare a gift which was magnificent but stayed to chat for a few moments. It meant so much to me. The chat was small talk and him explaining what he has been doing at work. Although I don’t know that exact title of what is up for , I am so proud to say he is up for a number of awards though his work. Phil has followed his passion and by all a counts has his dream job. He works as a horticulturist and driver for a major hotel in London. As long as I can remember, my brother has been involved in horticulture in one form or another. But what is more impressive is his dedication to those which he drives.

He told me about his efforts and accomplishments of work. How he drives children to the cancer clinic and how when needed he will have a stuffed animal given to a child in need and how the cost of that animal deducted from his pay. A great person my brother, a great person. A person we can all learn from. I have always had him there in support of my efforts and now in whatever way I can I am here to support him.

If not believed, I do love all my brothers and my sister very much. They have always been around for me in one way or another. As I was growing up were where much closer and as much of us experience as we grow older life often gets in the way. We grow apart, we fight, we argue and even at times we hate but we are still family.

I am writing this to let them know I care and love them but more over thank them for being them, my brothers and my sister. Maybe someday I will be able to say this to you in person but until that day comes, this will have to do.

I am proud to call them family and I am proud to call each and every person that is a friend to me a friend.

Thank you all.

Speak up with the voice you want, Fear nothing and regret less!

2011-11-24T07:28:00.000-08:00

Life can be a challenge without a doubt. There have been a couple of moments/times in my life where I have found it to be a challenge a bit more than what I would call normal. Now is one of those times.

On September 19, I was faced with a challenge I have never experienced before. Without cause or reason I was let go from my job at the VCC. I had done a great job over the past 2 years for them helping them recover and get ready for a new building and ultimately new challenges for them as an organization. Did it come as a surprise? , more than anyone will ever know.

In a time when it is lucky just to have a job, well I sat in shock. I have my ideas as to why they did what they did but low and behold the official statement is “they went in a new management direction”. It will be interesting to see what the financial numbers look like at the end of the year. I am sure it will be more or less an “I told you so” coming from my outlook. They still need to remember they have not been charged any utilities yet and I am going to leave it at that.

So now what, what do I do now? A wife and 4 kids, no job to speak of, what does one do?

Pick up the pieces and hope? Find a new job? What do you do, pray?

Well the answer is yes to all of the above and then some.

Reflection and time as I have mentioned in previous posts are great things and time is something I have lots of right now.

Am I working, well yes, I am doing a few consulting jobs which pay the bills, even doing some coaching back in the sport which I have done in the past. May even go overseas to do a little curling coaching, we will see. Canada loses a great number of great coaches in sport because the NSO’s and PSO’s do what they want. We have lost so many to overseas teams because Canada in coaching does not provide opportunity.

My question is this…

Why other countries believe in what I have to offer yet my own country does not?

I have coached a few international teams now, all of which have had great success but I am not able to coach in Canada. People have no idea of what I have done for sports over the years and I like it that way to a degree but I must make two statements.

1. “We MUST treat all people regardless of past, present or future with the same and equal process of consideration and allow all individuals an opportunity to be selected without prejudice.”

2. “We MUST provide and ultimately recognize those which provide the foundations for which success is built on. For without those builders our future success cannot nor will not occur. Regardless of their contribution level.”

There are far too many little favors occurring in life right now. Defend this person but outcast that one. Select this one but not that one because of a reason which no one knows. Remove this person so my buddy can get involved or have a job because he needs it.

It may just be my observation but I know many believe the same although they may not step to the forefront and say so. The system does not work as it is laid out on paper and is not fair when those manipulate it for self purpose or cause even if it does produce the results.

You cannot count of results which are tainted by those which have been selected to participate to produce those results if those selected are not genuine to the process, the methodology of selection or have had one place them within the process as a favour. People MUST remember that.

I have always been a little outspoken when my passion gets in front of my patience but when you sit on the sidelines and observe, I have the right to be a little outspoken.

So, good luck to all and maybe one day someone will finally admit that I said it first and I was right.

You know who you are!

The Passage of time….

2011-11-17T08:34:00.000-08:00

I opened a book preface with the line, “There’s no greater challenge, more or less significant than the passage of time.”

And, in the many years since, that line has remained with me, with my understanding that empathy and compassion are two of the most sincere traits that we can possess. See, what I’ve learned through my own challenges and struggles is that while no two people or struggles are the same, challenges and struggles effect most individuals at some point in life – often at several points in life – and although the origins of challenges and struggles vary greatly, their impact is universal, requiring all of us in moments of desperation to find an inner-strength to step back from the ledges we find ourselves on. And, when we’ve stood on the ledges of life – on the verge of slipping off, falling off, wheeling off – we know how tough it is for others in those situations, but what happens when we find ourselves facing the same situation.

When you live successfully with disability – and, dare I say, honestly, where you don’t portray life as perfect, but as simply survivable, regardless of challenge or struggle – it is inevitably clear to others that you’ve been to the ledge and back, gaining wisdom along to way. After all, if one is struggling, one can relate with someone who’s obviously struggled, too – and there’s a sort of reassurance in seeing that another has somehow made it through the tougher times in life, mountains climbed, scars earned, wisdom gained, and ledges safely passed.

When you put these perspectives together – those who are facing life’s challenges and struggles, with those who have struggled and survived; the fact is, many are too often alone in facing their challenges and struggles – and it is scary, isolating, and debilitating. What’s even worse is when one discusses one’s challenges and struggles with someone who hasn’t “been there,” and ends up being judged, lectured, and ridiculed – harmful feedback that can only make one feel more defeated, pushing one farther out on the ledge. But, when there’s a true mutual understanding between people. We share, we listen, and we build trust – that is, we create the foundations of truly the most meaningful, supportive, healing relationships in our lifetimes.

And, when we’re in need, with such an empathetic, compassionate friend in our midst, the outcomes are life-changing: We can exhale our true feelings, we can open ourselves up in a safe place, we can explore our emotions, we can express true wishes, and we can just be. When it all comes together, it’s not just a friendship that’s life-sustaining, but can actually be life-saving – conversations that allow us to restart living.

Those who have faced life’s challenges and struggles, we know how tough they can be to overcome. Yet, when we overcome them, we have an evolved empathy and compassion for others of such kindred spirits. Let us be there for others – without judgment, as unconditionally as possible. And, if we’re fortunate enough to have someone who’s there for us unconditionally – offering an open hand, drawing us back when we’re standing on a ledge – let us cherish that friendship and reciprocate. This is what happen to me when I met Morgan. She pulled me from the ledge and saved my life. Allowed me to once again understand the regardless of what I thought I did have meaning to others and have changed life’s though my message though my living.

I sit on the sidelines waiting for an opportunity be that in a career, in sport, or in life. Perhaps one day though the passage of time people will understand that I really am not who I was and started my life over when I met Morgan. I will sit patiently with aspirations of hope and understanding. We a belief that people may understand that the past is the past and pages for people can be rewritten should they be given the opportunity. See, the goal is to not just to top the mountains of life, but to top the mountains of life together, hand-in-hand and this can only be done though the passage of time..

Happy Birthday Mom - I love you , you know.

2011-11-15T09:19:00.000-08:00

Eleanor F. Daw

Today is my mom's birthday.

How old she is does not matter, time for her now stands still.

Today is a day for reflections and celebration.

My mom passed away on April 29, 2010.

I have read my brothers tribute to her which was as always touching.(http://simplekel.blogspot.com/2011/03/relentless-willow.html)

My sister posted a link to a song which had tears well in my eyes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4qPKc6_x2k)

It is a time hard to explain to my children. My oldest boy Kyle knew his grandmother and missing her deeply. My other boys knew her and loved her but did not really have the time to get to know her. My daughter Arowyn was only seen once by my mother over Skype. She smiled at my mom and my mom called her tulip. I know my mom watches over them and provide guidance to them each day. I sometimes feel she sit on my shoulder and talks to me, telling me not to give up and not to fear for hope is just around the corner.

Forever I will never understand why my mother was taken from this family; from my father. She was so loved and loved 10 fold in return. She is missed almost as much as she was loved, each one of us still grieving in our own ways. I never really got to say goodbye to my mom, never got to say I love you one last time. Why? I will know the day see holds me in her arms again; sometime down the road; a day she only knows.

Ivan & Eleanor Daw

Every morning I wake up and put on a mask,
the mask makes everything seem alright,
But they don’t know I cry at night,
The nightmares just won’t go away
If only I knew it was your last day
once more the words of love would have been said

I’ve felt this pain
The feeling just won’t go away,
Everyone thinks I’ve dealt with your death the best,
but without this mask Id be a mess.

Struggle is not something we need to accept but some thing which only presents itself each day.

My mom struggled on a numbers of roads in life but never did stop loving anyone of us and never will.

“I love you, you know” is an older post which I wrote at the time of my mom’s passing and I invite you to read it (http://wwwchrisdawca.blogspot.com/2010/05/i-love-you-you-know-eleanor-francis-daw.html)

Then I ask you all regardless of how you feel, to call, hug, visit, what ever you need to do to those which means something to you regardless of the pass. Reach out to them and say I love you, or even hey.

Because one day you will not have that chance and the void will be great and empty.

I love you mom and miss you more than anyone will ever know.

Christopher.

My Mom's remberance stone

Elmo has such a greater meaning....

2011-11-04T08:20:00.000-07:00

Elmo means "I love you"

Each day passes without real notice to anyone. We sometimes wake up to wonder where time went. The other day I was sitting with Arowyn (my daughter) and this fact hit me. Arowyn is my prize so to say. All my children are. I have a few. My older girls Pam and Chantelle are well into adulthood now. They are 19 and 17; one with Kodi my granddaughter who turns 1 in February. They are both from my ex-wife Mari.

Kyle is my oldest son from my marriage to Mari but lives with Morgan and I. He is a great boy who is dedicated to his family. Arowyn looks upon him in awww. Everyday sitting at the windows awaiting his return from school yelling Ky, Ky. Until he walks though the door and she can be held by him and they walk off to get their brothers. He really is a GREAT kid. He works very hard trying to do his best for me and Morgan. He does not always succeed but he is always appreciated and loved. Thank you ,Kyle.

Shane and Tj or better known as the “fix it brothers” are good kids to. They are peas in a pod and arm in arm stand by each other. They love their brother and sister. They also work hard at doing the right things not always have success either but the effort is there. Thank you boys. They are loved as well and we try hard to make sure all the boys know right from wrong and get along.

Arowyn throughout the day will YELL; TJ; as she does not understand where he went. She checks the window 200 times a day between 11am and 3pm for her brothers crying out for them.

She is a dream. Blues eyes to die for; bright smile; blonde hair. I will have to stand guard with my guns when she is older to fight the boys off. She is always happy but can have a major attitude when she wants. The other day my sister Tracey helped as I fix my car. I had asked her to watch Arowyn. Well; 2 hours later and my loving, happy daughter was still yelling at the top of her lungs. Not to discount the valiant efforts of my sister. She did a great job but next time I need to bring her ear plugs. Arowyn can have attitude.

Arowyn has one love in the world right now; ELMO. I got a tickle me Elmo from Morgan about 4 years ago as a gift. Elmo is Morgan and mines code word for “I love you”. So the gift was perfect at the time. A few years later and Elmo is loved. Arowyn tows him around the house doing everything. And gods forgive you should you come between her and him.

She dress him, diapers him, feeds him; well I bet you get the picture. I think in her own way she has even asked me to buy him a car but the budget has not worked out for that yet. Next blog I will have the adventures of Elmo ready to go and you can read the toilet and swimming lessons she tried to give him. Remember one thing about that doll. The batteries…..so when you see her hair standing on end you now understand (just joking)

Arowyn loves her mom. She is going though the worst time of her life right now. Every time her mom leaves she pans at the windows yell for her mommy for 5 to 25 minutes. She is getting better but it is very difficult on her. Morgan use to stay at home with her when I work and Arowyn has not figured thing out yet that when she leaves she will return. I have a few tricks but is very difficult time and only time will tell or more over learn.

Morgan is my wife of 3 years and I have been with her for 5 in total. We both have our past but better yet we have our future. Today November 4 is our anniversary day of when we officially became a couple. I love her with all my heart. I truly believe I am a much better person today because of her. I gave up my old life, all my wrong doings, all my errors (I still make a few) . She has changed me for the better.

She showed me who I am and what I can be. I am not perfect and I have wrong so many people. For that all I can say is I am sorry. I will not apologize but I can say I was wrong and I am sorry. Take it for what it is and the words I have said. I am sorry.

Morgan and the kids are my life. I love them and that is to be noted.

Happy Anniversary Morgan , it has been a great 5 years awaiting the next 5.

I LOVE YOU.

I have moved on from the VCC and although missed and not understood. I have my foundation, my wife, my kids, my family and those I call friends.

My door, phone and heart is open to all of you. You know you can count on me for support and love.

That is who I am now and what I try to be.

THANK YOU all for your embrace, forgiveness, friendship and so much more.

Next time the adventures of Elmo and swimming in the toilet!

Shocking outcome to be announced!

The code of silence

2011-10-27T08:50:00.000-07:00

Well, I got up this morning to find my email boxed filled with questions about why I had been “released” from my job at the Vancouver Curling Club. Low and behold I asked a couple of questions about why people where interested and found out that Eric over at wheelchaircurling.com hard put up a piece about me and my release.

So I guess I better put it out there the best I can without breaking a court agreement regarding the “release”.

So, here we go.

I had been working for the VCC for going on 2 years. The troubles of the VCC were behind them. Over the last 2 years I had a great team of employees they worked very hard to help the VCC recover from a few rough years. We all had put countless hours in and a huge amount of overtime!!!! I cannot say that enough; a huge amount of overtime. A GREAT TEAM!

So as the VCC prepared to move from the old facility to the new Hillcrest Center, well, how do I put this? A few things had started to occur. As with any curling club most are NPO or not for profit. The VCC is no different. With most NPO’s they go though change of new Boards each year. Again, the VCC is no different. With those changes come different ideas and with our new building the ideas flowed strong.

The VCC had had a good year, we had the most money in the bank we had ever seen. I had done my job. I was rewarded for my success with a continuation of my contract and they even gave me a bonus for the year. I was told good job during my performance review but also was shown areas of improvement as any employee or manager would be. In July we had made the move officially from the old building to the new one. We were preparing for the upcoming season and things began to book up fast.

I had begun to get the club ready, taken bookings for rentals, found sponsors, etc.

Again; in short, I had done my job.

Over the summer I had begun to notice a couple of small health problems and had a few family problems which basically and in short caused my blood pressure to go off the charts.

SO….I went to the doctor and for me that is saying something. What he found was shocking. My blood pressure was surprisingly high. The doctor orders me to take 2 weeks off.

Remember that my 2 weeks was doctor ordered.

I notified the president I needed time off on doctor’s orders. At the time the BOD seemed fine with that. I had gotten a couple of emails asking how I was and Morgan who worked at the club had a few BOD members seem sincere in asking how I was doing. Well, the 2 weeks came to an end and the doctor cleared me to return. I was really looking forward to it. Well, I notified the president I would be returning; only to receive a call asking me to come back a few days later than what I was supposed to.

Well; not falling off the turnip truck yesterday, I asked if I could bring someone into the meeting with me and they said yes.

Well, long story short. I was notified that the VCC BOD was going to go new a management direction and my service was thanked but no longer needed. I was handed some paper work and that was that.

Well, that is about all I can tell you for right now.

You see as part of an agreement regarding my release (with no justification or cause) we both signed a few documents and made a few agreements.(Basically; an agreed settlement) So, really folks I cannot tell you the hard details or some of the background or post release discussions. No I am not hiding that is the law.

I want to say this; I loved my job and loved BC. The members at the club I miss dearly. I made some solid friends and up until the end, (which I still don’t understand,) I felt like part of the VCC family.

If you want to know more; email me directly.

My wife was happy and would have loved to stay but BC is expensive. So, options where limited and a job in BC was not readily at hand. I mean no true ill will but I think when personal agendas come into play there are better ways to sort things out. A favour to a friend is no way to run a business.

So what does the future hold for me?

Well, you never know. I have options and I have direction. I have support and I have my friends & family.

I know that wheelchaircurling.com will post what happens next, even if I don’t want it too.

So for those who care, thanks for the welcome home and support. And who knows what life will bring for me in the future. You never know where I may show up next.

Coaching is an option, worked with Korea this past year and had a couple of other countries ask me.

Administration is another option, a few companies had really like what I have to offer.

Finally being able to find a welcoming home is another.

So is retirement.

Don’t all yell for joy because officially I have been retired for about 3 years?

As for now I will just do my consulting for the companies which value me and look for the next opportuntiy.

And as for this blog; this is meant to be more about my personal life experiences then my business life.

So next time you will have to read about my daughter’s passion for her best friend ELMO.

The passage of time is never long enough.

2011-10-26T13:25:00.000-07:00

So, I have been back in Ontario for near 2 weeks now and nothing really has changed. A few things but nothing really. Family is the same, Town is the same, etc.

In others words, nothing changes or not enought time has occured between my last time here and now.

It was interesting to see that in my poll that 2 people don't care if I moved back. I though the number was going to be higher.

I ran into a friend the other day and she said, "I heard you where back" in a way that made me wonder a few things. The way she said it sounded like she was expecting me to say something or jump up and down. Fact is, I came home for myself and my family. I wanted my kids to be closer to my family and have a chance to get to know them a little bit before some of them are not around anymore.

Time is a funny thing, you never know when enough has past and my the time you do you have missed most thing.

For those of you wanting more details on what happen at the VCC, that will come inthe next blog.

To finish this one up; I got this email today which most of the below came from, I found it very interesting and will expand on my meaning in the next blog as well.

Here’s an interesting fact: Before adaptive technology, medication, and assistive equipment, Neanderthals (commonly known as “Cave men”) took care of tribe members with disabilities who had trouble performing tasks necessary for survival.

If caring for people was so easy a caveman could do it, why is it so hard to receive assistance today?

It is encouraging to see the community of Canada’s Disability Living Blog take care of one another. By sharing encouraging stories and offering advice to others, you are providing individuals with support. If you haven’t visited the website yet, explore the conversations taking place at www.disabilityliving.ca.

This week's blog series focuses on “Disability Etiquette.”

Does it surprise you that Disability Rights in Canada have been progressing for 40 years, yet some people still don’t know what terms are appropriate to use when addressing this sensitive issue?

What could have been done in the past to educate citizens about disabilities? How do you think awareness can be spread in the future? Here is a timeline of Disability Rights in Canada: http://www.disabilityliving.ca/people-with-disabilities-canadian-disability-rights-timeline/. Tell us where education could have been applied and your hopes for educating generations yet to come.

What does “Disability Etiquette” Mean?

One blog post defines Disability Etiquette as, “…extending certain courtesies to individuals with a disability in such ways that allow them to feel comfortable, included in society, and respected.”

What does this term mean to you? Share your definition here: http://www.disabilityliving.ca/people-with-disabilities-disability-etiquette/.

Also, do you have tips to help others become more aware of their speech and behaviour when interacting with people in the disability community?

Does Disability Etiquette Ever Change?

Often times, there is more to a disability than meets the eye. We are eager to hear your thoughts about how to interact with individuals who have challenges in the following areas:

Hearing: http://www.disabilityliving.ca/people-with-disabilities-interacting-hearing-impairment/

Mobility: http://www.disabilityliving.ca/people-with-disabilities-mobility-disability-communication/

Speech: http://www.disabilityliving.ca/people-with-disabilities-speech-disability-etiquette/

Vision: http://www.disabilityliving.ca/people-with-disabilities-communicating-with-vision-disability/

Depression: http://www.disabilityliving.ca/people-with-disabilities-talk-to-someone-with-drepression/

Time OUT!

2011-02-13T14:04:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone;

If you want more information on what your looking for, read the most up to date blog post!

Thanks to the fans, and the supporters,

All the best!

Chris

What Next?

2011-01-02T16:24:00.000-08:00

Well, I know I need to write on here more often than I do but life sometimes gets in my way.

Another year has past and to be frank about it I wish some parts had never come.

I had a great amount of highs and lows....

Biggest high- birth of my daughter Arowyn.

Biggest low - Death of my Mother

What else can you say, life is an ever change of expectations with little or no warning.

I will write more often this year, what about who knows.

By the way, I guess I will make it offical. I have returned to sport! I will be curling once again but have no real idea were it will lead me. I have an opportuntiy to grow in my sport and I want to take it. So I will be paly with the best again.

More to follow later....my life is calling.

Past, Present, Future??????

2010-10-11T22:22:00.000-07:00

What if you could change one thing about your past, present or future? Would you?

I got asked that question the other day; and you know what; my answer is: I don't know.

Let's look at it for a moment.

If I change one thing about my past would I be where I am today, NO. If I was abled-bodied would I have taken up sports, would I have won gold, most likely not. Would I have had my children, met my wife, work where I work; all answers point to no.

Change my past, I think not. I would have never got to where I am.

Change my present; another good question. Are there thing I would like to change; YES. Everyone has that answer but truly what could I change. I would, once again, not be who I am today. So the answer again, NO.

Now let's talk about the future. I have no idea of who I am going be in the future or what it will bring. If I had that answer, I can tell you I would be the richest man in the world. But I already have a rich life. Filled with Love for and of my children, my wife and my friends. So I have everything I wanted for the future. What tomorrow brings, well I have no control anyways. So I try not to think about it to much.

What I can tell you is this....if you can reflect on your past and build a better present from it then you future will be bright.

If you leave your past in the past, embrace the opportunities given you present then again your future will be bright.

I am where I am today because of my past. I am here in the present because of and for a reason; be I know what it is or not. My future will present itself in time so embrace today.

I ask forgiveness for my sins of the past, I pray I don't make the same mistakes in the present and I hope future those whom claim they know me truly learn who I am.

Would I change anything in my past , present or future? NO, plain and simple. I will just try and be better for you, for my family and for myself. Learn about me and leave the past in the past

Who knows, you might like who I am.....Would you change anything. TRULY!

Waiting on the sidelines....out in the pasture

2010-10-03T12:56:00.000-07:00

I know it has been a while but a lot in my life has been going on.

Work has been crazy, the baby is growing up to fast and oh yea, I was inducted into the London, Ontario Sports Hall of Fame.

Funny though.. If life is about choices then why do we ultimately get to make very few?

In today's world we are faced with many choice; good and bad. Ones which will lead us down the road to a better future or a darker one. Right?

Why when you sit back and really look at does it seems most of the time that we, as a person never really make the choice. No, I am not talking about what to have for dinner or what to wear more over I am talk about the choice which we can never control.

I threw a curling stone yesterday for the first time in what has to be almost 3 years now. I must say I did very well, it was kind of like riding a bike once I was done cursing at the ice and stones. I retired from curling as a member of the national team over 4 years and I find still today I have to live out my past. What more is that no one today will take me for who I am. Allot in my life has change and trying to outlive what people think they know about me has been; what seems impossible.

My life in the past was full of passion which was greatly outlive by my lack of patience. I was a true competitor and to be honest with myself more than anything a ASSH*(E about it. I was very good at most sports I did or tried. I have won Gold at eh highest level you could ever achieve; the Olympics or in my case the Paralympics. The months after each time I gained success something in me thought I was better than I was, I had control and I could do whatever I wanted, both in sports or in life.

Than my life changed....not sure when but it did change and change hard. I think it changed just before I moved to Newfoundland. I had lost everything. My sports, my job, my wife at the time, my family and even my children. I had started to recover slowly. I found a new love, my current wife. I made a means with my children the best I could, found a new job, I even got back into sport heavy again, curling Hockey , BBALL, etc. . Then I lost a great part of it again after I made a choice in a way. I nearly died on the day of the accident and nobody really knows that until I placed in here in print. I was in the back woods of Newfoundland and had an ATV accident. Like a fool I was alone. The 800 pound bike rolled on top of me and I was pinned. No cell phone coverage, late in the day, cold, everything that you would like to watch in a good survival drama show. After hours under the bike; it hit me... It is not my choice to make here today to die. I have a wife, children, a few friends who the hell am I to make a choice for them. I am not sure how but I got that bike off me, crawl a few hundred feet with my breaks, blood and pain to get cell phone coverage and rescue. That day I said I would try and make amends.

But that choice is not up to me, I gave that right way. For those of you reading this please , please understand the following. I am not who I was, I never will be again. I am sorry and I am here should you ever want to believe in me again. A song I listen to at least once a day says this....

Nobody knows but me, That I sometimes cry
If I could pretend that I'm asleep, When my tears start to fall
I peek out from behind these walls, I think nobody knows

Nobody likes to lose their inner voice, The one I used to hear before my life
Made a choice, But I think nobody knows

Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown, And I've lost my way back home
I think nobody knows

It's win or lose not how you play the game, And the road to darkness has a way
Of always knowing my name, But I think nobody knows

Tomorrow I'll be there my friend, I'll wake up and start all over again

When everybody else is gone, Nobody knows but me what I have lost.

So in the end, never let your passion outweigh your patience! EVER!

Use you gifts in a quiet fashion including your voice.

And never try and out run your past for it will always control you future.

Until next time....(hopefully)

Waiting on the sidelines

I hate doing math...

2010-07-03T12:59:00.000-07:00

So I was sitting in the car the other day and my wife was in there with me, who I love an adore. We were talking about age differences, now not that it really matters but there is an age difference between my wife and I of 14 years.

So we started talking about when she was born, I was 14 and had been racing for a number of years and then we started doing some really odd math. So I have a son named Kyle who is 14, which is really odd math considering there is exactly 14 years difference between my wife and I. So then we did some other math my wife is 26 and my oldest son is 14 which equals 40 which oddly enough is exactly how old I am this year.

Are you creeped out yet???? because it gets better.

So I have two other sons, Shane who is 8, and Tj who is currently 5 soon to be 6. So On Aug 12th when Tj turns 6 (happy early birthday son) The combined age of Shane and Tj will be exactly 14, the same age as my oldest son.

Now it gets a little weirder and no I am not Jim Carey in the movie Numbers but..... There is exactly 14 years age difference between my oldest son and my daughter. There is 14 years ago combined with Shane and Tj, there is 14 years difference between my wife and me.... creepy. The number 14 keeps popping up this year.

So oddly enough for the remainder of the year, after Aug 12th when Tj turns 6, I think I will buy lotto tickets, but they all have to have a 14 on it. I have to buy size 14 in everything, I have to move to 14th street in number 14 house. I will say this that if I run into one 14 with bad news I am in trouble.

14, isn't that when all the trouble begins?

I am blessed!

2010-06-28T17:13:00.000-07:00

So what if I didn’t win the million….well it would have been nice but I have learned and quickly at that, that life is not about money. I look around and I figure I have every basic thing I need, food, shelter, car, JOB, etc.

I need to be grateful not wishful.

Sure, I did what most people did, the what if’s, the I would do if I won and Yes I even prayed a little asking for help but the I thought. My life is so totally planned out already that if I ever get a huge sum of money it is going to happen later or tomorrow or who knows.

I am blessed already, far more than some people ever will be.

I have had a great life (a couple of rough spots but whose life doesn’t have those)

I have had great parents who gave me more than they could ever afford and I mean that in more ways than just money wise. Mom gave me hope, determination, love of drama, music, smiles, love and most of all LIFE!!! Dad gave me desire, grit, overcoming the odds, strength, pride, compassion, smiles, love and LIFE!

They gave me much more but these are the highlights. I have had great parents!

As for my siblings, AL, Phil, Kelly and Tracey they have each given different things, they are my siblings and as much as we are apart, push come to shove we are there for each other, as we were when mom died. The saddest thing is we never came together when she was alive.

As for now, my wife, Morgan is the greatest; she gives more to me than anyone ever could. She has saved my life and made me believe in hope again, she is the mother of my children and most of all she has this LOVE for me which is unbounded.
My children are great, all of them…Arowyn, Shane, TJ, and Kyle who live with my and Chantelle and Pam who do not. They each love me and I am more proud of them then any one parent should be allowed to be! All of them are the greatest blessing! The love they extended is boundless.

I have represented my country, more times than I can remember, worn Canada on my back and won Gold countless times. I have seen the world more than anyone could hope for. I have been on 5 of 6 continents.

I have great friends, great family, and great hope that half way though I still have more to give!!!

Second half coach, put me in , I am ready to go!

Aftermath

2010-06-08T14:06:00.000-07:00

I have been writing and redeveloping my life as of late. I have a couple of pure foundations right now...my wife Morgan (I cannot thank her enough), my kids, all of them. They bring me love, laughs and of course challenges’, but I tell them every chance I get, "I LOVE YOU, you know" and how proud they make me.

I have a few true friends who have worked hard to be supportive and re learn who I am and I thank them every chance I get as well. As you all know; I lost my mother in April and she was a huge foundation to me (and my family). Since then I have reflected and searched for reasons to allot of questions.

Why did she have to leave us? What do I do know? and many more.

I turn myself inside out to find the answers.....

I listen to allot of music and I have found 2 songs which I have not only helped but truly define who I am.

Nobodys Knows by Pink. This song above all others defines me.

And; Aftermath... a new song most people do not know. I listened to it by accident and its' words touched me. These words....

Have you lost your way?
Livin' in the shadow of the message that you made
And so it goes
Everything inside your circle starts to overflow
Take a step before you leap
Into the colours that you seek
You give back what you give away
So don't look back on yesterday

Wanna scream out
No more hiding
Don't be afraid of what's inside
Gonna tell ya you'll be alright
In the Aftermath
Anytime anybody pulls you down
Anytime anybody says you're not allowed
Just remember you are not alone
In the Aftermath

You feel the weight
Of lies and contradictions that you live with every day
It's not too late
Think of what could be if you rewrite the role you play
Take a step before you leap
Into the colours that you seek
You give back what you give away
So don't look back on yesterday

Before you break you have to change your own mind
Take a trip and fall into the pit
Tell a stranger that their view is full
So all you feel is love, love
All you feel is love, love

Wanna scream out
No more hiding
Don't be afraid of what's inside
Wanna tell you you'll be alright
In the Aftermath

These words are what have help find new meaning to which I am...

Stay tuned because I am still trying to make the picture a little clearer...

By the way, did I tell you I was going to be a Grandpa.....

Fear not the game, I see clearly.

2010-06-04T12:35:00.000-07:00

I am terribly afraid of death and failure right now .With the death of my mother in April and the reflection of how much responsibility I have with my wife and children I am scared as hell. I use to be a rebel (so to say), take life to the edge; ATV, scuba dive and even parachute.

About a couple of years ago I had a major accident in a fall from an ATV in the back woods of Newfoundland and this time of isolation was as close to a near death and failure experience (NDFE) as I ever want to come.

Each person's NDFE testimony is their own personal experience of a reality that is far more dynamic than physical reality. The reasons why near-death and failure experiences are so different from each other are the same reasons why experiences in this world are different.

The question as it exists today is whether the NDFE is an actual afterlife experience or dying brains mass hallucinating tunnels, light, and being told it isn't time yet. Looking at this from a scientific view, which is somewhat limiting, the only conclusion is that there is no scientific evidence that NDFEs are actual afterlife experiences. Perhaps it is impossible to obtain scientific proof short of someone bringing back from a NDFE the sandal of Jesus.
Even if researchers scientifically confirm that people are actually seeing and hearing things far from their physical bodies, this only proves, in my opinion, that conscious awareness can expand from the body to witness remote events. It is not evidence that consciousness can survive death and failure. And even if doctors began performing "flatline experiments" like in the movie "Flatliners) and scientifically verify that the experience was conscious while brain dead and observed events far from their body, I still don't think this will be enough to call it "scientific proof" of an afterlife.

Although there may never be evidence that satisfies the mind, I believe very strong evidence will be discovered that will convince most people that consciousness survives bodily death and failure.

This aside, the circumstantial evidence in favor of survival after death and failure is so overwhelming that the proverbial ball is really in the skeptic's court. We don't have to explain anything. Millions of people having NDFEs can't be all wrong. It is the skeptics who must come up with proof that it is only a brain thing. So far, all the skeptics' arguments do not fit the scientific facts.
Personally, I am convinced that our consciousness survives bodily death and failure. This is my belief which is based on a mountain of circumstantial evidence. Not much faith is required when the circumstantial evidence is there. NDFErs don't need any scientific or circumstantial evidence to believe in an afterlife because they actually experienced it

As for the fear of death and failure, I guess it is completely natural and valuable to have because it is part of our "fight or flight" mechanism that has evolved over millions of years to help humans to be at the top of the food chain and so is the fear of failure. However, there is an affliction called "death and failure anxiety" and “failure anxiety” that some people have that can interfere with their life. Of course, everyone is tremendously afraid of pain and suffering.
But even philosophically, having an unnatural fear of death and failure is not rational. This is because there are only 2 options when it comes to death and failure and both of them are good.

Option (1) - There is no survival after death and failure.

If this option is true, then at best you will have a NDFE that ultimately results in oblivion - the end of everything. And is this option so bad? Suppose at death and failure there is no NDFE but absolute oblivion. Then, you won't be around to fear it. It would be the "blessed end of everything." This option only means that there is nothing gained after death and failure. It is irrational, I think, to be sorrowful about something we were not given, in this case life after death and failure. I think of life after death and failure as being "the icing on the cake". We should probably live our lives if we were going to die tomorrow anyway. And if it is the blessed end of everything, then we won't be around to think about it. It is just that there is nothing gained and nothing lost.

Option (2) - There is survival after death and failure.

If there is survival after death and failure, then we can have our cake and eat it too. If there is survival, the question is whether life after death and failure will be heavenly or hellish. I am convinced that the same principle found in life also applies to the afterlife. Life is what you make it. We can kill someone and end up in prison. Or we can do good things and live contently. I believe this principle applies to heaven and hell. So, if any fear is justifiable, it would be the fear of going to hell. But, if you are not a criminal why worry about it? It is not the just who fears the law.

This means that death and failure is a "win/win" situation. Either option is a winner. Granted, the option of survival after death and failure would be preferred. So, by this formula, there is no rational reason to fear death and failure.

Concerning the need to have "faith," faith implies the possibility of doubt and a state of doubt can be miserable. Knowledge implies certainty. And when it comes to NDFEs, it is based on solid knowledge and facts rather than faith. If a million astronauts go to Mars and say that there's Martians living there, I would be inclined to believe them. If a million people experience death and failure and then say there's life after death and failure, I would be inclined to believe them just the same.

This said, it is still a good idea to keep an open mind on this and remain a true skeptic (holding to the possibility that there isn't life after death and failure).
For this reason, one can make the case that the only thing that is really important is loving others, loving life, and loving everything. Faith and knowledge can change, but love is worth keeping and cultivating. Even the Bible says that love is greater than faith. Having faith in religious dogma, instead of having a healthy skepticism, can lead to disaster, in my opinion.

My own religious experience has been one of constant evolution. I change my mind all the time. One moment God and I discuss how pissed he is at me and the rest of the time is me asking for forgiveness, hoping he is listening. The only thing that I have constant is love.

Be it the love of my wife, Morgan who always finds a way to help me though my tough times.

The love of my children regardless of how frustrating children can make me.

The love of my father, who never says it but I know means it.

The love of my mother, in this life or the next. Who watches

The love of my family, who I miss daily and long to be closer and waits for all of us to be together again (but only in the right time too).

The love of my friends regardless of the amount of contact.

In conclusion, here are some words of wisdom concerning the fear of death and failure …

Fear not the game, I see clearly.

I will not let fear control me anymore, I see a path (be it unknown) I will follow it where ever it takes me and I hope I make all the right turns in the bends with my loved ones right behind me (good or bad)!

On another note......I will have a major annoucement next post!

Why Dream?

2010-06-01T14:38:00.001-07:00

For most of us we sit and dream- Dream of a better life, more money, etc. , etc.

But Why?

Why do we dream, what is a dream? Can we change the past, present or future by dreaming?

NO!

I was looking back at my last couple of blogs and I began to dream about what I could have or more over should have done and then I started to think about what I could do if I had just done this or just done that. None of which I can change now. Hell, I am not sure if I can even change it in the future. All I can do is dream, right!

WRONG!

Sure there are things I am not in control of, like winning the lottery (I gave up on that dream!) But I can make a difference today even a small change can reflect on things in a big way. Dreaming by the text book is our brain making sense of things or helping us figure things out. Sometimes be it in much screwed up ways, mind you but it really us figuring stuff out.

But what if we changed without dreaming??? A man came over to my car yesterday and ask me this “I am hungry, do you have anything to eat?” Naturally; I was in a hurry and said no, he then went up to my son; who had been returning the shopping cart and asked the same thing. Scared as hell, he said no. But I got to thinking here, why did I say that and do what I did. Afterwards I felt like shit because of what I did. I had just gone grocery shopping and had tons of food in the truck but I said NO. WHY? Why did I dash that man’s DREAM of a meal. Did I know him, no? Did I really know if he was hungry, no? I was in a hurry, uncomfortable and frankly had just done that same thing everyone else does in that situation for the most part.

SAID NO! Why?

I went back and looked for him with no luck and I feel really guilty about what I have done. I spoke with my son about it and he said, I should carry something with me, just in case. I do that now, and will freely give it out the next time. I will not dash a dream again.

I dream about my mother and wanting her back…..something I will never get, it is impossible. I dream about her sitting in heaven looking down at me and that has changed me. Things I may have done in the past with no thought, I wonder if see would approve since she is watching me. I find myself talking to my new born asking her if grandma came to visit and each and every time she smiles. I pray this is her answering YES, I saw her today and she held me.

We can dream, yes and we should but we need to remember perspective. I was told once perspective is everything; don’t let it cloud your path. Dream and dream big but remember perspective because trust me you cannot control your dreams and nor should we.

How does one celebrate???

2010-05-30T09:56:00.000-07:00

I use a phrase often...In life we all get faced with challenges, how one deals with those challenges is what makes each of us different and ultimately strong, while defining the complexity of who we are in reality.

Over the last month, since my mother's passing this is more true than ever before. My life has been rot with grief and at the same time pure moments which should be; no must be celebrated. Much like today, May 30. The day my father was born 73 years ago.

How difficult is it to celebrate these moments of what should be victory, a birthday or the moment your new born daughter sits up for the first time or the look of love from your wife who so desperately wants to help you but struggles not only with the how but her own grief. Thank you Morgan and I am sorry.

I am not a great person but I try. I try to be a good man who wants to provide not only for my family directly but indirectly. I feel I am a giving man even at times when I cannot afford to be and I don't mean money but emotion.

The death of someone close to us is one of life's most stressful events. We fear loss of companionship and the changes it will bring to our lives. It takes time to heal and each of us responds differently. We may need help to cope with the changes in our lives. But in the end, coping effectively with bereavement is vital to our mental health.

Mourning and the complex stages of the grieving process are necessary. Even though the present is felt to be intolerably painful, it is healthy and normal for a bereaved person to experience intense emotions and swift mood changes. These are natural reactions to loss so the text books say.

"It takes time to heal." I truly believe this a myth. I think my brother stated it the best (Kelly)- "time will make this, not good, but better"

More over it most certainly will not heal. We will only learn to cope. Any period of grieving depends upon the situation and varies greatly from person to person.
Grieving is not a weakness; it is a necessity. Refusing to grieve is not courageous it is harmful .

So what or how do we celebrate what should be.....WE MUST! For that person and those around us.

Celebrate each moment, each birthday, each day, each second for it is when those moments are not available to us that we wish we had...DON"T let those moments pass.
For those who I have wronged, I am sorry...I was wrong. Very wrong. I do not ask for forgiveness because that is impossible but I do ask you for understanding for I am not who I was but I am changed; vastly changed.

And for those who do and can forgive....I am always hear for you to celebrate those days, those minutes and those seconds which should be.

I miss you Mom and wish the best I can for you this day Dad. For my friends and those who can forgive....THANK YOU!

I Love you, you know! Eleanor Francis Daw

2010-05-11T15:59:00.000-07:00

I know it has been awhile since I wrote on here and the fact is; a blog is very labour rot. Time and energy, who knows who reads it, or even cares. Life is full of perspective.

One day however you will wake to find that world changed forever...like I did on April 29, 2010. The day I learned, I would never hear the voice which had been there so many times in the pass. The day I would come to learn what a moment in time was all about...the day my mom passed.

My mom was born on November 15, 1942 and ever since then has been changing lives. She changed the life of my Grandparents and then that of my father Ivan. Then of my brothers and sisters. I am proud to say I have 3 brothers and 1 sister. Alan, Phillip, Kelly and my Sister Tracey. Proud to call them my family as my mom was proud to call them her children. My mom changed all our life's both as children and as adults. She no matter what was always there. Rain or shine nor matter what we said good or bad she was mom. No matter the distance between us, No matter how bad we screwed things up she would always lean in and tell you "I love you, you know" something I miss each time I pass a phone.

My mom loved her children and watches each of us now waiting for the day we can hold her in our arms again, the day she can lean in and tell us "I love you, you know"

She not only loved her children but was a proud grandmother to the countless Daw clan of grand children. All her grand children. She loved my newest one; Arowyn; sadly; one she never got to hold, or tell her she loved her in person. My mom did get to see her and share a smile and a laugh over Skype. I know she loves her and watches her....her Tulip.

You see my mom never really was that fond of Arowyns name and joked she was going to call her Tulip. A name which has so much more meaning now.

The day you never want to come is the day you can never hear a voice, or see someone again. We always say...we have time....see you soon but I am hear to tell you you don't.

Take the time; each time to tell the people you care about you love them, to hold them, to embrace them because death will come if you like it or not. There will not be that moment you hoped for that moment of being able to lean in and say.....

I love you, you know!

So to all of you to whom I care for and love, I am reaching for each of you now giving you a hug and letting you know this.

THANK YOU for giving me the honour of being in your life, I love you.

To my family regardless of the distance... I Love YOU!

and MOM...thank you for allowing me to be you son, for guiding me, holding me, protecting me and letting me learn who you are.

I LOVE YOU, YOU KNOW!!!!!

A funny thing happened on the way to the next day.

2010-03-07T15:37:00.000-08:00

So its been a while since I have updated my blog. And lots has gone on.....

First of all, let me formally announce the birth of my daughter, Arowyn Emma Elli Daw, born Feb.23 2010 at 8:29am weighing 8lbs 4 oz.

She is cute is as a button and has me wrapped around her little finger already.

I was sitting there watching my daughter, talking to my wife and I said wouldn't it be nice if I had a little better contact with my brothers and sister. See I have three older brothers, and one sister. And due to life styles and locations it is very rare that we see each other, let alone talk. When out of the blue, the very next morning my brother Philip calls me.

Now I haven't talked to my brother for a long time and the passion that my brother has for me and what I have done in my life is incredible. He has been a long supporter of me since I was a wee little kid, one of the oldest memories I have and greatest memories I have is of my brother Philip helping me train in Thompson arena in London, Ontario, trying to do wind sprints against a sprinter. I will give him credit, he did well, but at the end of the day I know he was on the verge of a heart attack. Phil and I have always kind of one up each other all of our lives. Are my biceps bigger than his.... can I lift more, or can he?? At the end of the day, every body needs to be able to reflect on the little moments like those which truly make you who are today.

I love my family like no one else, and regardless of the distance or the time that goes by, I have always been able to reflect on the good, for the most.

More to follow......

I am not a former anything…

2010-01-09T15:58:00.000-08:00

So I felt the need to write this …

Since I have been retired for over 3 years now I have been called a lot of things some good and more bad than anything else but one thing I have been called which is absolutely not true is I am a "former" .

You hear it a lot once you are retired, please welcome former Paralympian or former Olympian or former World Champion.

Well when did I became former.

I went to the Paralympics not once but in my case 5 times. When did I become former. I won at those games and the last time, Gold in Torino when did I become former Gold medalist Chris Daw. Last time I looked I still had the medal, it was not taken away. A good friend of mine George Karrys of the Curling News (http://www.thecurlingnews.com/) has fought for this for a long time and not until recently did I get it or even understand it.

With the Olympics and Paralympics, just around the corner when did it become fair to devalue the accomplishments of those who have come before the athletes participating at these games and for that matter when did it become common to refer to a current Olympian as past medalist hoping to win.

For too long the media has been able to disrespect the legacies of the predeceasing athletes by disregarding the accomplishment by referencing them as former. Referencing anyone who has gone to the Olympics or Paralympics regardless of whether they won a medal or not should never be referred to as a former. Did you go?
You can never be a former anything unless you change and even then you’re not real a former.

Former Boxer now curler – I was still a boxer

Former Curler now Curling Club Manager, I was and always shall be a curler.

Former World Champions, I was a World champion and no matter how hard anyone tries they can never take that away from me. They cannot pretend it never happen. Like it or not I am A World Champion, I am a Paralympian and I am a Gold medalist…like it or not, regardless of how I won or by how much. The facts are the facts not former anything but history that I am proud of and Canada should be proud of. Why? Because at one moment in time I had the privilege of representing the great place on earth and during that time everyone was behind me. Just because I am not in the paper, or my name is not in lights, or I do not currently play the sport does mean I did not contribute to where that sport is today. If we had not won in Torino ask yourself exactly how much funding would the sport have got. If I had not work as hard as I did, looked outside the box and got the sport at least looking down the path they currently are on, would they have been where they are today. If we had not won the points to get to worlds and ultimately to the Olympics would Canada be where it is today.

I am a Paralympian and proud of it, don’t disrespect me by calling me former.

The History books are written and last time I looked the “Time Machine” has not been invented yet.

Reflection....

2009-12-03T17:12:00.000-08:00

Life never seems to change; we have what we have at that’s it. No more, no less; well these days it seems less is all any one is handed.

So what happens when someone wants more and has no way of getting it?
They seem to sit in this endless pool of want with the effort to grab it but never the opportunity.

Look I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and have lost a lot of what I wanted including some major sporting opportunities.

BUT…. Once one has asked for forgiveness and truly shown they have the will and ability to be better than they were should that person not be given at least a look if not a chance.

Ask yourself, would you not like a second chance at something you lost?

“Life is the sum of your choices.”

2009-11-17T17:23:00.000-08:00

“Life is the sum of your choices.”

I would like to share with you someone in my life who has influenced me, my father in law , Nick. I did not know Nick well and truly only met him 5 months before his passing. Nick left us last Monday at the age of 70.

My father-in –law was a self-sacrificing man, who is authentic in all of his dealings with others.

However, in keeping with his authenticity, he tends to be impulsive. He had his demons and was able to control those demons and make good on his challenges just before his passing.

It is because of him, that I carefully consider the choices I make as a parent; knowing I can dramatically affect the lives of my children through my choices and characteristics.

Nick’s characteristic where authentic and unique– he was never trying to gain a better life though thought rather than action. In the end however he knew this was not working and did make a change to living life by action and that within its self says something for the better.

I look back now and remember a scene that played itself out many times I see a man now who just wanted to relax. . Our conversations were genuine, and he talked to me as a peer, as much as any person possibly could.

However, often a positive trait manifests itself in a negative fashion; as was the case with my father-in law. His authenticity, being true to himself, often led him to impulsiveness in both word and action.

Today we have looked at someone who has influenced many lives greatly through his
characteristics and his choices, we have seen that he was a very authentic person who could be self-sacrificing and yet tended to be impulsive.

The impact of living through the consequences of my father in laws decisions has taught me to consider more fully the consequences of my own actions – before I act.

A MAC Truck Hit ME!

2009-11-02T11:42:00.000-08:00

Ok, Last year this time , I broke my hip! This year, I break 2 ribs and my foot....nice.

How? Well, getting out of my car! So I am leaning on the front foot pedal of the wheelchair place the wheels on like most guys do when getting out of the car, WHEN....

The foot plate breaks and down I go! NOt just down but down acorss the back of the chair and on to the ribs then I bent my foot back trying to get up. I am having such a good time here in BC,

Car broke into, breaking my self up, and now no less then 4 close friends dieing in the last week.

SOmething has got to get better!!!!! SOON!

Today is today and tomorrow will is I like it or not.

2009-10-24T18:51:00.000-07:00

So, the last 2 days have been pure hell!!!

I moved to BC for a number of reason most of all to make my wife happy. She missed it here and well as nice as Newfoundland was, fact is BC is just a little better fit. We do miss the pace of Newfoundland and how simple it was but life is not about simple.

Work, well work has its good days and some bad but like all new jobs it is a blend of what you bring to what was; to find what will be…but it is a pure hell process.
I love my job; it truly has given me an opportunity to come back to a sport to which I kind of walked away from for all the wrong reason. Now getting back into curling gives me the passion I once had for this sport. I don’t curl competitively much anymore (I think too many politics right now) but I am involved and seem to be able to make a difference.

Life is good in general but you do have to watch out for that devil which does try and make its way back into to your life.

Remember people; it was an evil Chris that was not is…..

The Recession is not over!!! YEA RIGHT!

2009-10-23T19:09:00.000-07:00

So, as the new manager down here at the Vancouver Curling Club (www.vancouvercurlingclub.com), and yes I know that was bad to do.

We like a couple of other clubs have had a hard time getting teams to sign up for Bonspiels (curling term) or in other terms; a tournament.

I ask myself why???? If we hear on the news that this recession thing is (almost) over then why do people not want to spend a few bucks to come out to a get event regardless of the host.

Well, I guess the recession is not over and we must be more creative!

So be it!!!

The Draw of a NEW DAY...What the heck is going on!

2009-10-23T12:55:00.000-07:00

So, today is one of those days. Nothing appears to want to go right except for my family life. Morgan is GREAT! The boys are excellent and the baby well she is kicking up a storm.

Now step outside the house or in my case roll outside and all hell breaks loose. I have no idea why people cannot or will not work together and see the bigger picture.

I heard recently that "pain is the sacrifice made for the entire good thing that happens to us."

Well, I feel the pain can I see the good stuff please....more to follow.

My New Little Girl!!!!

2009-10-22T22:03:00.001-07:00

So I wanted the world to know something very personal about me and who I am. I have been around for a long time and god knows I have a few friends and a few enemies.

But I stand behind what and who I am, good or bad!

What I can say is this. I am a very happy and proud father to my childern! ALL of them!!!

My Girls...Pam and Chantelle who are almost grown up and live in Ontario

My Boys...Kyle , Shane and Tay who live with me and my wife Morgan in Bc.

And we are welcoming our newest to the bunch are little bundle of joy ...our newest Girl. Name to be annouced at a later date.

I feel a little like Mike Brady 3 and 3 now!!!! Well, I am very happy to have GREAT and I do mean GREAT childern no matter where then Live! I LOVE YOU ALL, VERY MUCH!

What's NEW!

2009-10-22T21:46:00.000-07:00

Well, I thought I would try this so, here it is. Now I can stay more updated then every once and a bit!

Technology, who knew!