Wednesday, October 21, 2015

7 Things I Wish My Loved Ones Knew About Living With Disabilities

So I once again have some time on my hands as I begin to press the reset button again and look for work again! Yes, I know WTF? right!

Well; the story will come out in another post in the next few days. However; I came across the following earlier today and it hit home for me and will for many living with a disability. As I get older I am just beginning to understand the effects of disability and age. 


Take this for what it is! I did modify it to reflect my life but it speak miles aboyt me and about disiability in general. Read it think about it and make a comment if you want; either on here or on my facebook!


1. When I say “I’m tired,” I mean I’m exhausted.
There’s a chance I’ve canceled plans because of this, but it means the world to me when you continue to invite me out, because there will be days where the disabilities don’t win. Asking me out to do things is a way of rooting for me more than you know, and I appreciate it very much.
2. I’m glad your health regime is working for you, but that’s your health. This is my health, and what works for me might be different.
Listen, it’s super cool that you feel as though your yoga instructor and detoxifying waters would really benefit me, and I’m stoked you found something that works for you, but my body is different, and I need my medications like I need oxygen. Please understand and be respectful of this. My body, my existence. My choice. Your body, your existence. Your choice.
3. I am allowed to hate my disabilities.
I am allowed to have bad days. I am allowed to have days where the disabilities win, and I toss up a white flag of surrender in a way that Dido adamantly refuses. I am allowed to hate my disability. I am allowed to hate my major depressive disorder. Do not mistake my bad days for self-loathing, and for the love of all that is holy, please don’t toss up your complaints about my disabilities in terms of our dynamic. I know being a loved one has its difficulties, but if you think having me in your life is burdensome, you should try living as me sometime. I’m just sayin’.

4. Inclusivity is far more than introducing me to your other friends.
It is making sure I get ample notice to schedule my rides in time, and knowing you don’t mind picking me up before we go somewhere. It is making sure the place we’re going is accessible, or a phone call and a game plan in regards to the new venture. If you forget about my wheelchair, you are forgetting a part of me. Don’t take offense when I shut down plans due to inaccessibility. If I feel as though my wheelchair is going to speak for me the majority of our outing when all I really want to do is spend time with you, it’s not going to be a good time. If you don’t show care of my basic needs, you are showing me that my needs aren’t that important to you.
That said, sometimes sh*t happens, and I may need help parking my chair in order to take a piss, or I may need help to assist me in getting my chair up a set of stairs. So long as you’re ready for a little bump in the road and don’t regard it as that big of a deal, neither will I.
5. Sometimes I feel like a burden to you.
And I will want to talk about it. These conversations are awkward, painful and awfully important. Chances are, I will say something off-handedly. Like, maybe I heard you talk about how you used to help me get my shoes on in the morning, or maybe my wheelchair was a really big pain to get out of your truck. Perhaps I drunkenly ran over your foot? Who knows? But it’s important. I do not want to be anyone’s obligation. I do not want to be anyone’s path to redemption. I want to be your friend. I want to be a part of this family. I want to know there are pieces in my life bigger and louder than the ones that society has deemed unlovable. I want to know I should not say thank you for loving me. That I am worthy of love and a place within this home, this social circle, this life. So let’s talk about it. Please.
6. My disabilities do define me (in some aspects of my life).
I am your Husband. I am your Dad,I am your friend. I am your brother. I am your son. I also happen to have disabilities that stop me from doing certain things. I do not have the same rights you do. I cannot do everything you can do “just in a different way.” I am disabled, and not because my needs are different, but because society at large deems these needs as not important enough to meet. I cannot have spontaneity in the way that I yearn to. I go through doctors the way you swipe left on your Tinder profile.
I am not ashamed in living this life of difference. When you say you don’t see my disabilities, I know you actually mean, “I see the person you are with these disabilities,” but when you use phrases like, “You’re just differently abled” or “I don’t see the wheelchair,” it kind of makes me want to throw up in my mouth a bit. You’re basically saying, “I don’t see the discrimination you face every day.” Even though you and I know you mean differently.
7. Know that I’m ready to roll over some toes and kick some a*s whenever you need.
Seriously. Just call me up. I’ve got this.
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Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Life is difficult...right?

What makes Life so difficult?

We have no control over the choices we are presented with..Right!

For example, you may decide to stop at the 7-11 to get some gas and as you approach the teller to pay a robber decides to hold up the joint.

Now you find yourself having to make decisions in a reality that was not your choosing. Yes, you did decided to get gas, but you didn't decide to be robbed. This is why the whole free will thing is kind of dumb. Free will is somewhat irrelevant when the choices you are presented with all lead to undesirable results. 

Even if you make a concerted effort to always make the right choices you have no control over the choices that other people make and this intricate inter-dependency of our reality is what make life so difficult. It is like navigating through a maze that continuously changes. Each time you make a choice your destination changes locations. 

Most people probably don't even notice this. On the surface, life appears to be just a series of success and failures attributed to effort, coincidence, and luck, good or bad. No more thought is put into it. Those who never develop expectations are never disappointed and life just seems to move along. 

Some say that our desire is what makes life difficult. Imagine if we lived in a world where no one had any desire and we all passively accepted our lives as they came by and did nothing to change it, the world would be arguably worse but life may not be as difficult.

We do make poor choices but many times the choices are among evils. We are all born equal in that we all have a mother and a father but there the equality ends. Life presents it own situations to us and most of them are not of our making. A school outing ends with 15 dead kids in a rain swollen river. They didn't choose to go. It was required. They weren't driving the bus. Yet, 15 of them died. So, no, we don't make our life what it is. We don't drive life, life drives us. We are its tools to meet its goals. If we get a few kicks along the way, then hurray for us.

Consider the lives of people who still live like we all did thousands of years ago. In huts in the jungle. People like to think they are in paradise. But in reality they have to work everyday, sunrise to sunset, just to survive. We have more time off than any of our ancestors have ever had since the beginning.
Maybe our lives seem difficult because our dreams are too complex.

Life is simple. But all the things that we include into our life makes it complex and if we try to do too many things at one time, it makes life hard.

The simple answer is ATTITUDE. 

If you posses a positive attitude, life isn't all that hard. There will be difficult periods once in a while, but life, in general, would be good. 

Life is what we make it!

The unwillingness to change and know the difference
Life is not hard we make it hard for ourselves

Saturday, February 28, 2015

10 Amazing Strategies That Will Change Everything

I have always admired Bruce Lee and to this day, the name Bruce Lee remains synonymous with martial arts and philosophy. As the founder of Jeet Kune Do and a renowned Hollywood actor, he is considered by many to be the most influential martial artist of all time.
Martial artists around the world look to Bruce Lee as a source of inspiration and guidance. From his incredible physique to his tremendous work ethic and deep wisdom, there are many reasons why martial artists use his philosophies as a guide to living life.

Here are some of the key life lessons that Bruce Lee has imparted on us:
Be happy, but never satisfied.
Being satisfied is tantamount to giving up. It is admitting that you’re alright with just being good, but not great. Yes, we should accept the things that we cannot change, but we should also be striving to improve every day. By being satisfied, we are making an excuse for not working hard to improve.

Be like water, my friend.
This is perhaps one of Bruce Lee’s most famous quotes. Water has many attributes. It is fluid and it flows anywhere, changing direction and shape as required. To be like water is to be adaptable to our surroundings. We cannot be too steadfast in our ways because it may hinder us from acquiring new knowledge and experiences.
bruce lee 5

I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.
As human beings, we often strive to please others. We want validation and acceptance from our peers because our ego tells us that this is what we need. Stop listening to your ego and focus on getting validation from the person that matters the most – yourself. Set your own expectations and remember what an amazing human being you are! Not only will this give you an incredible confidence boost, but it will also make you realize that you can do whatever you want in life.

Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.
We are all human, and we are all bound to make mistakes at some point in our lives. No matter how big the mistake is, there is always a chance to make it right. We should not be afraid to confess when we have done something wrong and accept the consequences of our actions. We should have the courage to own up to our mistakes and focus our energy on learning from them.
bruce lee 6

Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.
In a time when everyone’s lives are plastered on social media for the world to see, it can be difficult to stay true to yourself and not become a victim of a popularity contest. Thanks to social media, it is just that much easier to emulate celebrities, bloggers, or even people in our social circle. Unfortunately, we end up losing ourselves in the process. Being your true self is so much easier – you won’t have to work so hard trying to be someone that you’re not.

The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.
We often decide not to take risks because we are afraid of the outcome. But what if we decided to ignore that little voice inside our head telling us “no” and embraced a leap of faith instead? By doing so, we are living life to the fullest. We are savoring every moment while making life truly memorable. Go on, enjoy!
bruce lee 3 white

I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.
Practice and patience are everything, especially if you want to become successful in martial arts. To become an expert at anything requires steadfast commitment, laser sharp focus, and countless repetition. Dedicate yourself to becoming the very best at what you do.

To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.
Sometimes, we get too caught up with waiting for the perfect moment to start something. The time will NEVER be perfect. Instead of waiting, why not take a chance and make things happen yourself? Even if it is easier to sit around and be reactive, why not be more proactive? Don’t ever be afraid to take chances!
bruce lee 4

If you don’t want to slip up tomorrow, speak the truth today.
Ever since we were young, our parents have always told us that honesty is the best policy. This is one of the single greatest pieces of advice you will ever receive. Being honest with yourself and others is always the best option. Honesty builds trust, and trust is the foundation of every meaningful relationship.

A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.
Nothing good ever happens when tempers flare. When you lose your temper, you become irrational. You are more likely to act out of impulse. At this point, you probably aren’t even thinking straight, and how you react may turn into something that you will eventually regret. Instead of losing your temper, why not count to three (yes, that actually works) and reflect on the situation before you react.
May the legacy of Bruce Lee and his teachings live on through eternity.