Happy Birthday Mom - I love you , you know.

Eleanor F. Daw

Today is my mom's birthday.

How old she is does not matter, time for her now stands still.

Today is a day for reflections and celebration.

My mom passed away on April 29, 2010.

I have read my brothers tribute to her which was as always touching.(http://simplekel.blogspot.com/2011/03/relentless-willow.html)

My sister posted a link to a song which had tears well in my eyes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4qPKc6_x2k)

It is a time hard to explain to my children.  My oldest boy Kyle knew his grandmother and missing her deeply. My other boys knew her and loved her but did not really have the time to get to know her. My daughter Arowyn was only seen once by my mother over Skype. She smiled at my mom and my mom called her tulip. I know my mom watches over them and provide guidance to them each day. I sometimes feel she sit on my shoulder and talks to me, telling me not to give up and not to fear for hope is just around the corner.

Forever I will never understand why my mother was taken from this family; from my father. She was so loved and loved 10 fold in return. She is missed almost as much as she was loved, each one of us still grieving in our own ways. I never really got to say goodbye to my mom, never got to say I love you one last time. Why? I will know the day see holds me in her arms again; sometime down the road; a day she only knows.

Ivan & Eleanor Daw

Every morning I wake up and put on a mask,
the mask makes everything seem alright,
But they don’t know I cry at night,
The nightmares just won’t go away
If only I knew it was your last day
once more the words of love would have been said

I’ve felt this pain
The feeling just won’t go away,
Everyone thinks I’ve dealt with your death the best,
but without this mask Id be a mess.

Struggle is not something we need to accept but some thing which only presents itself each day.

My mom struggled on a numbers of roads in life but never did stop loving anyone of us and never will.

“I love you, you know” is an older post which I wrote at the time of my mom’s passing and I invite you to read it (http://wwwchrisdawca.blogspot.com/2010/05/i-love-you-you-know-eleanor-francis-daw.html)

Then I ask you all regardless of how you feel, to call, hug, visit, what ever you need to do to those which means something to you regardless of the pass. Reach out to them and say I love you, or even hey.

Because one day you will not have that chance and the void will be great and empty.

I love you mom and miss you more than anyone will ever know.

Christopher.

My Mom's remberance stone